Homestuck
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
What will the name of this young man be?
> Enter name.
Enter name.
❌ Zoosmell Pooplord
Try again, Smartass
> Try again.
Try again.
✔ John Egbert
> Examine room.
Examine room.
Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.
What will you do?
> John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer.
John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer.
Your ARMS are in your MAGIC CHEST, pooplord!
> Remove CAKE from MAGIC CHEST.
Remove CAKE from MAGIC CHEST.
Out of sympathy for John's perceived lack of arms, you pick up the CAKE for him and put it on his BED.
> John: Quickly retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST.
John: Quickly retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST.
You retrieve your FAKE ARMS from the chest. You use these for HILARIOUS ANTICS.
You CAPTCHALOGUE them in your SYLLADEX. You have no idea what that actually means though.
There are other items in the chest.
> John: Examine contents of chest.
John: Examine contents of chest.
In here you keep an array of humorous and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MAGICIAN or a CUNNING PRANKSTER.
You are neither of these things.
Among the ARTIFACTS are:
TWO (2) FAKE ARMS [CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX],
ONE (1) PAIR OF TRICK HANDCUFFS, ONE (1) STUNT SWORD,
ONE (1) MAGICIAN'S HAT,
ONE (1) PAIR OF BEAGLE PUSS GLASSES,
SEVERAL (~) SMOKE PELLETS, SEVERAL (~) BLOOD CAPSULES,
and ONE (1) COPY OF COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY,
and ONE (1) COPY OF HARRY ANDERSON'S "WISE GUY", BY MIKE CAVENEY.
Some of this stuff may come in handy at some point. For now, you decide to just take the SMOKE PELLETS.
_____
sorry yall I gotta end this chapter here cus my phone is being a bitch and won't let me paste the next part right now so yeah
stopped on page 8 of Homestuck
