The White Peacock (A Draco Malfoy Fanfic)

Chapter 50: Stares

Draco's POV

I open my door to leave my room, same time as I do every morning and sure enough, the pile of clean clothing would be folded neatly outside my door. She was getting better at this, she used to be so loud and clumsy I would always know when she was on the other side of that door, but now I could never hear or see her.

Things around the house were getting done, and she was completely out of sight. Good riddance if you ask me. I did not need any more strange encounters like we had a month ago in the dining room, when I threw those dishes to the ground. I did not realise at the time why I had reacted so explosively to just her mere presence, to just the sound of her voice.

But soon after the days and weeks had passed without seeing her, I realised why I acted the way I did. As I took a seat in the dining room, I thought back to that day, how her presence in the room put me at ease, how being around her, a complete stranger, just felt so natural.

When I spoke the words "This is different" I was speaking to her, yet I did not realise I was when I did it, I would never associate or acknowledge a mud blood, yet I almost instinctively or rather unconsciously spoke to her casually as though we were friends.

Only when she responded, with that voice that made my heart instantly beat faster, I had realised what I did. It angered me, it confused me, it made me feel crazy once again, and I had to make it clear to that thing she was nothing more than our slave.

But that voice, that soft spoken silky voice, coming from her mouth as she continued to speak, it set me off the edge. The way it made me feel, like I was happy, sad, and pained all at once, just at the mere sound of it. I needed that feeling to stop, I needed that sound to stop...but I also needed more.

That feeling of not having control over my emotions, over the hatred for that mudblood, caused me to explode with anger. It was that feeling of not being control I have been trying escape this entire summer break.

However, when she cut her hand, the sight of the blood, it suddenly brought back that sick scared feeling I had on that night, it made that image of that bloody face appear in my mind once again. The blood was frightening, I needed to stop it.

I came to realise my concern for her, my feelings towards her were all due to the guilt I had felt letting those death eaters into the school, destroying the place I grew to have a soft spot for, killing Dumbledore.

Her being here, forced against her own will, was a constant reminder of that, and that is why I despised her presence, that's why I felt so weird around her. That must be it, that has to be the only explanation, whatever it was it wasn't her fault.

My thoughts get suddenly interrupted as my mother walks in and takes a seat at the table.

"What a lovely treat to be dining together for breakfast" my mother says as she grabs a piece of toast.

I ignore her and take a bite of the food, it tasted good, the food seemed to be a lot better since she started cooking in the kitchen, not that I would ever admit that to anyone. Muggles may be worthless, but I suppose they did have good food.

"Where is father this morning?" I ask dryly. He barely was around now that Voldemort had begun his infiltration of the ministry, luckily, I had not been required to perform my duties as a death eater yet, at least not after this last year of school. I was relieved...

"He had to leave for.... work earlier today" she says as she clears her throat.

I give her a slight comforting smile to make a feel at ease, I could see how tense she has been lately, with all the new changes coming into place in the wizarding world.