The White Peacock (A Draco Malfoy Fanfic)

Chapter 44: Scars

It all happened so fast; I could barely remember it now. The only things that kept replaying in my head was his body on the ground, and the blood, there was so much blood. Everything else was just a blur, I didn't even remember what I had said to Harry, but I didn't even care, all I cared about was Draco.

It has been 3 days now since what had happened. I have been sitting here next to his bed in the hospital wing everyday for as long as I could. Taking care of him, making sure he would eat and drink something when he was able to gain a little bit of consciousness, but mostly I was just sitting watching his scars heal.

The scars felt like they were my own, they were long, straight and crossed over each other all over his body. Every time I looked at them, I couldn't help but get emotional.

They represented how quickly and easy it was to lose him forever, it represented how fragile life was, and it represented how dangerous my feelings for him truly was, because in that quick second he was almost dead I realised I didn't know how to live without him.

I never thought I would be the kind of girl who breathed and lived for a boy, the kind of girl who was completely consumed by her love for someone else. I felt ashamed of who I had become, but at the same time lucky, lucky for having experienced love like this, a love that felt like magic.

"mmmmm...muprhy" Draco mumbles. This is the first time he has spoken.

"I'm here" I say getting up and holding on his hand. His hand slowly tightens holding mine back, he had his strength back. I brush back his icy blonde fringe back, as I begin to tear up.

His eyes slowly open and meet mine, "You are so dramatic" he mumbles seeing the tears on my cheek.

I roll my eyes, as a smile of relief creeps on to my face, "Don't ever do this to me again" I say with a chuckle

He tries to sit up, but immediately winces at the pain.

"Take it easy" I say

"I can't waste anymore time in here Murph" he growls in agony

"I know, but you need to recover, you almost died Draco" I say choking up

"But I didn't die, I am fine, but I won't be for long if no progress is made on that bloody cabinet" he says slowly pushing himself up on the bed, letting out painful groan.

"I have been mending it, every night, after the hospital wing closes" I assure him. He eyes me closely and looks at me with concern.

"You haven't been sleeping" he says grazing his thumb on the bags under my eyes

"I couldn't sleep, and fixing that cabinet seemed like better use of my time" I say looking down

"You can't be doing this to yourself, this isn't your task, I never wanted your help if it meant you would be killing yourself over it" he snaps at me

"Whether you like it or not we are in this together now, that cabinet getting fixed means much more to me than it does to you" I say firmly

"You don't understand this isn't the life I wanted for you, you should be in fucking potions class being a teacher's pet, not here worrying about my problems" he growls

"You don't understand! You dying is my problem, your scars on your fucking chest is my problem, I understand this isn't a perfect life, but that's the reality of our life together, and I want every part of it" I say sincerely

"I could make you forget me, I could make you forget everything that ever happened between us, and give you a chance at a normal life, you know I could do that" he says coldly

"I know, but you won't" I say bending down closer to his face

"Why is that?" he scoffs

"Because I don't think you can live in a world where I exist, and I am not yours" I say before my lips meet his. He kisses me back, as he tries to pull me closer eagerly,

"Stop, I am trying to be gentle" I whisper to him

"I like the pain" he growls, as he pulls me back into a kiss, his tongue running along the bottom of lip slowly. It had only been a few days, but my body was already aching for him.

I hear footsteps walk in, causing me to pull away immediately, and meet the angry eyes of Harry, before he storms out of the hospital wing. He saw us.

I follow him out and catch up to him.

"Harry, I think we should talk" I say firmly, he turns around, his face full of anger.

"Talk about what!? How you were just snogging a death eater, talk about how you have been lying to me, Ron and Hermione this whole time" he shouts.

"I know, I fucked up, I shouldn't have kept it a secret but what choice did I have?" I exclaim.

"I don't know Murph, you could have chosen not to be with a person who hates muggleborns!" he shouts "Even after what happened in that bathroom, I didn't think in a million years you would be dating him, or whatever it is you are doing with him" he says bitterly

"We are in love" I breath

"How could you love a death eater? They kill muggleborns, his father has killed muggleborns, his entire family is followers of you know who, you know this! He stresses

"Harry I know that it doesn't make sense, believe me it didn't make sense to me for a very long time, but neither of us can stay away from each other, I tried to... for you and for the order and everyone fighting this war, but I couldn't" I say choking up

"This whole time I trusted you and confided in you about my suspicions, and you sat there knowing everything he has done, letting me think I was going crazy, what kind of friend does that?" he asks

"It wasn't easy, you need to understand why I was willing to risk everything for him" I explain

"He hexed Katie, didn't he? He tried to kill Dumbledore. That means he must have been responsible for what happened to Ron! So forgive me if I am having trouble understanding how you were able to look past all these things" he says coldly

"You can't choose who you love" I exclaim

"This world is getting so much darker, because of people like him, people are disappearing every day, muggleborns just like you are scared for their lives and all you care about is love, this is war Murph, this is so much bigger than us" he explains

"You don't know anything Harry, you don't know him and you don't know a fraction of what's really going on in this war, everything to you is either good or bad, but life isn't that simple and neither is this war" I explain.

"You are wrong, there is bad, and it's in this castle and you helped hide it, you picked your side of this war" he says

"One day I will be able to explain everything, and by then you will know the entire truth of what is really going on here, and I just hope that we can find a way to friends again" I say as I shed a tear

"I am sorry, but this is unforgiveable" he says looking down

"Look you have done your worst to him, you basically almost killed him, I think we can both agree he is no longer a threat, promise me you will leave him alone" I plead

"You are right, he isn't a threat to me, but if he hurts another person in this school, their lives will be on you" he says before leaving. I knew exactly which life he was talking about, and I knew after Dumbledore was gone, I was on my own, I no longer could rely on Harry.

As I watched him walk away, I burst into tears, as I realised I lost a friend, but not just him, everyone I cared about who was fighting in this war, who were willing to make sacrifices for their side. I made my sacrifices, I sacrificed them.

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Hello friends

A little shorter chapter, but i will be publishing a new spicier one tomorrow so stay tuned! Just a heads up we are only 2 chapters away from he end of sixth year so brace yourselves!