Loving You Is A Losing Game ➶ jolex

ten ⤦

~*~

"giving us up didn't take a lot, i saw the end 'fore it began"

~*~

six months. six months since that conference in boston.

five months. five months since they saw each other again.

in the six months they'd known each other, they'd spent three weekends together. the current one being the fourth. alex and jo lay in bed together as they'd done so many times before, his fingers running up and down his arm while she drew circles on his chest. this had become normal; a habit. being with each other was so completely and utterly normal.

how wrong was that? the fact that they felt more normal with each other than they ever had with anyone else in their life. how wrong was it that they were cheating, but yet it managed to feel normal. being with each other somehow managed to feel so right.

except now things weren't the same as it had been four months ago. four months ago, they craved the touch of each other, the ability to make one another feel something.

now they didn't just crave the touch.

it was torture to be away from her. he longed for her; her skin, her scent, her lips. he longed for her touch, her words, her slender fingers, her mind. he wanted it, every second of every day he wanted it. but no matter how much he wanted it, she wasn't his to have.

she missed him. she missed him while lying on the sofa, while sitting in class. his hands, his secure hold, his witty brain, his skillful lips, the movements of his fingers as they twirled with her hair. she missed him. it was such a messed up situation that they had put themselves in, but no matter how much space he took up in her mind, he wasn't her's to have.

the saturday afternoon sun trickled in through the sheer white curtains, the orange glow gleaming against their skin. it was so sound, so serene, as if nothing could go wrong if they stayed like this. in all honesty, they wished they could.

the sound of a text tone going off momentarily pops their bubble, jo letting out a groan of protest as she recognizes the beep as her's. she begrudgingly untangles herself from alex's hold, immediately missing the warmth it provided. she fishes her phone out of the bottom of her bag, small smile on her face as she can feel his eyes on her backside. the smile leaves her face once she sees his name on the screen.

Paul

Going to be a day late. I'll be back on Monday.

Brooke

okay. hope everything is good up there

whatever bubble they had preserved was now destroyed. the guilt of everything finally catching up to her in one swift motion, like a tidal wave unexpectedly crashing on shore. alex notices the change of atmosphere in the room as jo stands at the foot of the bed, a look he can't recognize splayed across her delicate features. he sends her a questioning glance, which she only responds by setting her eyes downcast, focusing on the floor as if it were the only thing in the room.

the silence in the air is heavy, the usual comfort that it usually held was gone. it hadn't been like this for them in months, not since waking up next to each other for the first time and not knowing who the person they spent the night with was.

jo sighs, shaking her head as she begins to pace the room, stopping in front of the window and looking back at him. "we can't keep doing this." she whispers, her voice breaking halfway through.