I Want to be Your First Choice, Harry Potter

Chapter Forty Four

My eyes begin to fill with tears. As he continues.

"I've been terrible to you. It's embarrassing, and I don't deserve you and-"

"It was Ginny right? Something happened between the two of you I'm assuming." I cut him off, he goes from a look of sorrow to confusion.

"No, I promise. Nothing has ever and will ever happen between anybody else as long as we are together." He starts to rub my hand with his thumb offering me some comfort. I believe him, he wouldn't lie to me about something like that and it was all just made up in my head anyways. At the same time I feel like I've been making Ginny out to be some home wrecker or something. I don't believe she would actually do anything to ruin Harry and I's relationship. At least not intentionally.

"Wait so you didn't do anything wrong?" I ask.

"No, well, I don't even know anymore. What I was going to say is that the year is essentially over, this is it. There's no more time left and now we have to say goodbye and I feel like I should've done so much more for you. Like taken you out more and gave you more attention but now I don't get to do that anymore for three months and I regret it. I wish we could see each other this summer." I've never even thought of that. I've always thought he does more than he has to, I think it might just be him overthinking things. That's one of the many things that we have in common.

"Harry, don't say that. You couldn't have done anything better and I agree it will really suck spending that much time apart but I know you have a tendency of starting to put yourself down for things that aren't your fault and the last thing I want is for you to be hating yourself all summer. All I'm saying is that you should give yourself more credit." He nods and looks down at our hands resting in his lap.

We talk for a while about the summer and stuff that usually happens during each of ours. It's mostly about me though since Harry doesn't really like to talk about how the Dursley's treat him. He stands up very suddenly and pulls my arm for me to get up and go with him. He leads me down to the grass "You did say that we should do stuff like this more often." He says.

"You're would be correct." I say. We continue to walk into the middle of the grassy area. It's too foggy to see the stars tonight though. "You know, Harry next year will be better. We'll be sixteen, sweet sixteen." I say. I never got the whole big deal about being sixteen but now that it's coming up I sort of get it I guess. When you're fifteen you're still too young and once you're seventeen it's your last year of school and you need to already know what you want to do for a job and you have a bunch of new responsibilities. But when you're sixteen it's the middle, you can do whatever you want and if you're clever enough you can get away with it. Our birthdays are both over the summer so we won't get to see each other but we can still write to each other. His is July 31st and mine is July 12. I always tease him that I'm older even if it's only nineteen days.

"Mhm." He says.

"Really, that's all you've got to say? 'Mhm'?" I question. He laughs a little.

"Fine, you're right. Next year will be the best year of our lives. We'll come down to the pitch all the time and do other fun things, maybe I'll defeat Voldemort while I'm at it." He says. I tilt my head at the last part. "Ok maybe that last ones a stretch." He says.

I wish we could start next year right now, by the way he just described it. Oh! Over the summer I'll make a list of things we can do next year. By the time we are back we'll never be bored.

"Do you ever just want to scream, Gab? Like right now. Just let it all out." He says. At first I think it's a little funny but I actually agree.

"Ok let's do it. Let's count to three." I say. He nods and we both start to count and once we get to three we both told our heads up at the sky and let out an agonizing scream. It feels good, we continue until we run out of breath. Nobody can hear us since the pitch is far from the castle. "See all better." I say. He practically yanks me from the spot I was standing in by my hand hadn't let go of his since we where up in the bleachers. "What are you doing?" I ask as he runs further into the field.

"Having a sixteen moment." He says. He let's go of my hand "you're going to have to keep up with me though." He shouts back at me. I gladly chase after him as he looks back every few seconds to make sure I'm still there speeding up each time. He stops suddenly making me run right into him, he acts like I pushed him or something and dramatically falls on the ground. "Rookie mistake, Clarkson." He pulls me down with him, letting his body break my fall. The grass is tall and overgrown since the quidditch season has ended and they don't take care of the grass as well towards the end of the year.

The fact that this is only a small portion of what our plan is for next year fills me with joy. He squeezes me tightly and whispers "Please don't ever leave me."

I pull my head up so I can look him in the eyes while saying "I would never. I promise on being sixteen."
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Yes the picture is of Anakin and Padme. I love them so much lol.