I Want to be Your First Choice, Harry Potter

Chapter Fifty Four

I would like to put a warning on this chapter.

If s*icidal issues trigger you please do not read this chapter :)

I also have somewhat of a platform so I would like to use it to say; if you ever have thoughts like the ones that are displayed in this chapter, please get help. You can talk to so many people about how you are feeling. Or you could always call a hotline, either way please don't feel like there is nobody who cares because there is always someone who is willing to talk.

Other than that enjoy the chapter!

—————————————————————-

Harry grabs my hand and starts to turn back towards the stairs but I rip my hand out of his.

"What are you doing?" He whisper shouts. I look between him and Draco. I know Harry would never wish death upon anyone. I can see why he would want to just get out of here. We wouldn't want to get caught up in any of this death eater business, he's probably just trying to protect me. I can't tell if he's too slow to catch onto what's going on but I think that's just something I'm telling myself so that I can get the image of him making a decision that could end somebody's life out of my head. I give him one more look of sorrow before sighing.

"Damn it, Harry." I start to walk up to Draco not to startle him. I feel awkward, like I shouldn't be this civil while being around him. Like I shouldn't care if he wants to do something like this or not. But I do care, Harry stays in the same spot, when I look back at him he slowly takes his wand out. I can see his chest move in and out repetitively with each deep breath he takes. My hands are shaking, I don't know how Draco's going to react to me being the one trying to tell him not to do it. I mean absolutely nothing to him, in fact he might do it only because I'm the one telling him not to accompanied with Harry standing behind me. I swallow once and as softly as I can, get his attention.

"Draco, what are you doing?" I back away slightly, he doesn't know me well enough to recognize me by my voice so he turns his head slowly to see who it would be.

"Come to see the show, Potter and Blood traitor?" He's got a psychotic looking smile on his face that scares me a little bit. Harry starts walking closer to the both of us. "Don't come any closer!" He leans further over the edge. At first Harry ignores his request but when he continues to lean further and further I can't take it anymore.

"Harry stop it!" I blurt out. Draco let's out a little laugh at my expense. He really has lost it completely. "Draco, please don't do this. It's not worth it." I can't come up with anything better to say. I sound like a robot, but it's the best I can do.

"Oh yeah, why shouldn't I? Tell me since you're feeling so confident." He demands. His smile is gone and he looks to be in pain almost. I can't think, I barely know him, I can't come up with something to convince him to do, or not to do anything. I feel my mouth start to dry up, I have an empty feeling in my stomach, like there's nothing left I can do, I just have to stand here and watch. 

"What would your mother think, Draco? How do you think she would live without you?" Harry questions him. Draco looks taken back at the mention of his mother. He begins to breathe heavily, shaking slightly more with each breath.

"Don't you dare talk about my mother, you foul excuse for a savior! How are you, a mere boy of sixteen, supposed to defeat the Dark Lord?" He insults, I can tell his harsh wording is making it harder for Harry to not retaliate.

"Let's not get off topic." Harry manages to say calmly.

"Brave of you to talk about a mother, you don't even have one." Draco seems to get satisfaction out of that last comment.

"Shut up." Harry says while closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. I can see him clench his jaw as he refrains from saying anything more.

"Harry you should go, this isn't going to work with you here." I say, it pains me to send him away but I'd rather have him be a little pissed at me than have the death of a student on my hands. He gives me a nod while looking betrayed and walks back over to the stairs. I know him well enough to know that he's going in the area that's under the stairs watching precisely what's about to happen. He wouldn't leave me here with Draco, especially when he's acting so unpredictable.

"I suppose now that Potter's gone you think I will listen to you, right?" He asks.

"No, I just think that there is a lot of tension between you two and it wouldn't be a good idea for him to be here." I explain. He laughs to himself then finally backs away from the railing, but starts to walk towards me. I notice how much taller he really is than me once he's looking down at me. I look past him rather than making eye contact.

"I hate this, all of this. I want to end it, that's why I came up here. I might as well finish this job." He says.

"Your friends would be disappointed." I say, maybe guilting him will work.

"I never asked for your help!" He snaps, I jump at his intimidating voice.

"You didn't have to. I want to help you, Draco. Please let me." Even if I wanted to, I can't force him to do anything. He's the one who has to cooperate with me. "Besides, we both know if you were going to do it, you would've already. So just stop acting like you're going to." I say.

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, at first I assume it's Harry but they sound further down the steps. Somebody else is coming, we both wait as whoever is is gets closer and closer. It could be a teacher for all we know.

Draco backs away from the railing,  to seem as if nothing suspicious was going on.

As the person comes up the steps we realize it's Emily.

"What's going on up here?" She practically demands. I put my issues with her aside for now, she's clearly being kept in the dark by Draco and that does make me feel bad for her.

"Nothing" He brushes past me, making sure to hit my shoulder as he walks by. He walks back down the stairs with her glaring back at me. I wait a few seconds before I go down the stairs as well. I see Harrys standing right where I suspected him to be.

"Are you alright?" He asks. I give him a little nod. "Well come on, we've got to go find him." He continues.

"No, it's out of our control now, we can't follow him around all night." I say. I sound exhausted,  I am exhausted.

"Yeah you're right I guess, you should be getting to bed anyways. I noticed how tired you looked today." He says.

"Oh, so you did notice?" I question. I truly didn't think he took notice of anything about me in the past few days.

"Of course I did." He answers with a small smile. He takes my hand as we start down the stairs.

———————————————————————

Hi I recently hit 10k reads!! I know that's probably not a lot to all of you but it is to me, so thank you to everyone who consistently reads my story<3

Also I love reading all of your comments they literally have me dead they're so funny sometimes.