I Want to be Your First Choice, Harry Potter

Chapter Thirteen

Today is the day of the dreaded date. Sometimes it sucks being best friends with the person you have feelings for. Correction, it pretty much sucks all the time. The one person that you tell everything to can't know about this huge thing. Luckily I have Hermione though. Harry had asked me to help him get ready, I agreed obviously even though I don't really want to see him all excited for a date with another girl.

It's weird being in the boys dorm area, it's sort of messy. I can tell which bed is his because it has his glasses case on the nightstand. His is the only one that's made properly. He is obviously trying to hide his excitement a little to not make me feel bad. I help him pick out the perfect outfit and I even tell him what to say when he sees her at first. The whole time he is very shaky and nervous, I wish he would feel that way when he thought about me. He never told me what he was planning on doing on the date.

     I want to see how the date went afterwards so I go to the common room and read until he gets back. A few people come and go for about ten minutes. Ginny comes in and talks to me for a while. I feel like I should tell her now about my feelings for Harry because she is also one of my best friends. When I tell her she said she already knew and when I asked her how she said that she could just tell.

     Some more time goes by and I'm alone again. I stare into the fire that is warming me so efficiently. Harry walks back in slowly looking sad.

     "That was quick?" I question.

     "Yeah, she didn't show up. Instead I got this." He says handing me a note. It's on a piece of parchment that was crumpled and ripped in the bottom right corner. She didn't put much effort into making it look presentable, that's for sure.

    "Harry,

     I haven't been completely honest with you. I am still not over Cedric and I will need more time to grieve his death. I am sorry for leading you on like this. I should not have let it get to this point in our relationship. Besides you have other girls who want you more than I do and you deserve someone like them.

     Sorry again,
     Cho Chang"

     I knew she was referring to me when she said 'other girls'. It was actually quite nice of her to give him some hope, although that doesn't excuse the leading him on. Harry plops down on the couch next to me. He looks so defeated, he looks how I have felt this whole time. I wonder if he would still consider going back to her when she's ready but now isn't the time to ask.

     We sit in silence for a long time. Whenever something happens it will take Harry a while to open up about how he really feels. I move closer to him and watch his facial expression to make sure it doesn't bother him. He seems fine by it.

     "I really liked her." He says, his voice almost a whisper.

     "I know you did but you deserve better than that, and you know that." I say. He said 'liked' as in past tense. Does this mean that he doesn't like her anymore? He leans over and puts his head in his hands. I try to be as comforting as possible and rub his back softly.

     "I don't think I do deserve better, Gab." He says. What? Of course he does.

     "Why would you think that?" I ask. He clenches his jaw and says.

     "Because I'm not good enough for any girl in general, not just her, girls deserve someone who doesn't have dead parents and someone who isn't constantly going to put them at risk because The Dark Lord is after them." He says. He sounds more frustrated than sad now. He makes himself sound incapable of love which is not true at the slightest and it makes me sad to hear him talk about himself like that.

     "Don't say that, she wasn't right for you Harry. I know that this might make you feel worse but I can't keep it from you any longer you deserve to know how she really was." I begin.

     "I already know how she was towards you, you don't need to tell me. I thought I could convince her that you didn't have feelings for me but she would insist on it even though I know it's not true." He says. So he did know how bad she was but he still was going to go on a date with her?

     "Just out of curiosity, what would you have done if she really hated me and talked poorly about me?" I ask.

    "Well I would never let anyone say anything bad about you. Once she started to but I shut her down quickly" He says. That makes my entire world light up that he put me before her. We stay and talk for a while. I eventually asked what he had planned on doing and he said it was nothing special he just wanted to get to know her better so a walk around the Black Lake was all.

-------------------------------------------------------