Memories Of Old [DSMP]

A Fate Worse Than Dying

•Description: He's all alone- everyone has left him. And it's all his fault.

•Date of Publication: January 4th, 2021

•Words: 1411 words

•CW's: Self-Hatred, Angst, and Hurt No Comfort

•Extra Notes: Title taken from 'Jubilee Line's by Wilbur

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The sky was pretty tonight.

Tubbo sat in the platform on top of the plaza, legs dangling on the edge. His presidential coat was unbuttoned, and his red tie was undone as well. On his left were the remaining pieces of his 'Your Tommy' compass (which was now a circular piece of metal with a broken pointer and little pieces of broken glass stuck in it). Squeeks and BeeInnit were behind him, sleeping in the presidential chairs.

He tried to get Ghostbur to fix the compass for him weeks ago, but he barely saw the ghost anymore. After that, the ghost rarely came to L'Manburg. And when he did, he seemed occupied with Phil and the younger didn't want to bother them. He was already on thin ice with Phil.

The president stared at the chinese lanterns floating around L'Manburg, each illuminating the sky with red, blue and white. A few stars could be seen in the sky, and the moon shined bright, no clouds were blocking anything. It was a peaceful and calming night.

Tonight the country was rather... Empty. Quiet. Hushed.

Tubbo looked down, gripping the fabric of the red tie. This was one of the only things he had from Tommy. He remembered back when they joined the SMP, Tommy gave him a red piece of clothing after Tubbo almost died in the nether.

He remembered Tommy's panicked face, and how terrified he was. They made each other promises to stay together, and Tommy gave him the red cloth while Tubbo gave the other boy a green cloth. Tommy would wear the green cloth around his neck, while Tubbo would wear it around his wrist.

The brunet let a bitter laugh. How times have changed.

He still wore the red cloth, now as a tie. He kept it clean, and made sure that it didn't rip. It was one of his most prized possessions, along with Mellohi and the compass. He didn't know what he'd do if it were destroyed like the compass.

Tubbo pinched the bridge of his nose. He was thinking too much again. He placed the cloth beside the broken compass, before looking at the town underneath him.

Ranboo and Fundy did such a great job decorating. The snow and the colorful wool highlighted the town pretty well. The stands have been cleaned, and decorated with multiple things, like flowers and bottles of honey from the giant beehive nearby.

Fundy...

The boy pinched his scarred arm, making him flinch. He knew what his brain was doing, and he needed to stop it. It hurt to acknowledge it. Last time he did, he cried so much.

A little bit too much.

But when his vision danced around the houses in L'Manburg- from Niki's to Ranboo's to Karl's- he felt his chest tighten and his throat close and his eyes water. He raised his dangling legs and hugged them, his body going into a fetal position as tears slipped from his eyes and fell to the spruce floor.