Memories Of Old [DSMP]

You're gone.

•Description: Tubbo goes to Logstedshire. He finds it destroyed, and no Tommy around.

•Date of Publication: December 12th, 2020

•Words: 636 words

•CW's: Panic Attacks, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, and Hurt No Comfort

•Extra Notes: A retelling of the scene where c!Tubbo thinks c!Tommy died

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"Quackity, can I be excused?" Says Tubbo, no emotion on his face. The older male looked at him and nodded, before turning to the other two cabinet members.

The president hurried outside that room, removing his butcher apron on the way. He dropped it in one of the fences in New L'Manburg, before rushing through the Prime Path, one thing on his mind.

"I need to see Tommy."

The brunette passed through the cat cafe, the tunnel, Eret's museum, the community house, until arriving to the community portal. It started raining, and Tubbo cursed at the sky. He stood in front of the portal for a while, silent.

"I hope he's okay. I haven't visited him since I... exiled him. I hope he'll be happy to see me."

He passed through the portal, feeling the heat waves hit him. It was such a difference to the cold all the way in the DreamSMP Lands. The brunette turned to his left and saw the slightly damaged cobblestone path, following it.

Tubbo slightly grinned, rushing. He couldn't help it, but he felt giddy to see his best friend. It's been long, way too long, since they saw each other. He missed his tall friend, he really did.

He eventually stopped in front of the portal, which looked cracked. The president raised an eyebrow, confused. Portals never crack, unless it's been destroyed from the other side. Tubbo shrugged, maybe a creeper blew it up, it has happened.

He passed through the portal, feeling droplets of water hit his face. Tubbo sneezed, before looking at his left.

"Why are there two nether portals?"

The brunette shrugged turning to the forest on the left. He peacefully walked towards it, before noticing a crater.

"What the hell...?" He whispered, shocked. What was once Logstedshire was now a crater, with rubble of the old house, tent and wooden walls in it. A bunch of resources were scattered around. Everything was destroyed, nothing could be saved.

Tubbo felt his chest tighten he turned around, rushing to the tent near the beach.

"Tommy had a tent! Surely it's still there!"

He passed through the portals, until reaching to another crater, where the tent was supposed to be. Tubbo felt his breath quicken, how suddenly everything was in focus but at the same time not.

The brunette looked at the crater, noticing pieces of an ender chest were there, obviously broken to the point of no repair. Tubbo looked around him frantically, noticing some beach decorations on the seaside were broken.

Tubbo started panicking. He rushed back to Logstedshire, hoping to find something, anything, that led him to the whereabouts of his best friend. The brunette looked at the crater frantically once more, before noticing a tall shadow.

The young president slowly looked up, noticing a tall dirt tower. Tubbo couldn't see the top thanks to the clouds, but he guessed the tower went up until block limit.

"W-what is this...?" Mumbled Tubbo, squinting his eyes.

Then it hit him.

"N-No..." He whispered, tears streaming down his face. "Surely not..."

He fell to his knees, clutching his green shirt. He started breathing heavily, sobs wrecking through his body. He shivered at the cold, his body soaked and cold thanks to the rain.

Tommy is gone.

He killed him.

Oh god he killed his best friend.

He exiled his best friend, who went through things he couldn't imagine, and he went and...

Tubbo whimpered, running his hands through his hair. He's a monster, he basically killed his best friend.

How could he?

His breath quickened, yet no air got into his lungs. His vision got blurry, and white spots danced around his vision. Tears slipped down his face, and dripped into the crater. He felt guilt, so much guilt.

Suddenly everything went dark.