22 days | felix lee

II | dedication

━━☆⌒*.

TWENTY-FIVE DAYS, sounded easy enough, right? At least, that's what Hyunjin said to hopefully cheer up the solemn freckle-covered boy. While the rest of them had gone back into the swing of things and continued joking around, Chan could tell that his words had weighed heavily on the other Australian.

Felix had his lips pursed, fingers tightly clenched around a bottle as he heard the whoops and yells of the others as they played Mario Kart. Based on the yells, he thinks Jisung is in the lead, but he honestly isn't sure; his head hurt too much to lift to look at the screen. "You shouldn't drink too much," Seungmin took a seat beside him, tightly clutching onto his journal.

That's what he always carried with him: a journal and his phone. Nobody knew exactly what was in that journal except Hyunjin and Chan since the two had accidentally peeked at it before. If Seungmin wasn't writing in his journal, he was typing on his phone. "I know," Felix said, setting the now empty bottle on the ground.

And he did know. He knew and he didn't want to stop.

"You're going to have a hell of a hangover, Felix."

Seungmin stated the obvious, glancing at the clearly upset boy. Felix didn't say anything, setting his head in his hands as he let out a tired sigh. "I feel like this is some kind of sick joke; don't get me wrong, I respect Chan hyung a lot but why is he being so extra about this?" The black-haired boy glanced at the tipsy one beside him, chewing on his bottom lip.

Seungmin remarked. "He cares about you a lot; he doesn't want to see you just pining and sitting there. I think you two would do well if you were together. You just have to talk to her and let's be real, you needed this push." Felix just ruffled his hair, letting the blond locks slip through his fingers and pour over his knuckles. "Yeah, I guess, but why."

"Why what?"

"Why does he care so much? It just doesn't add up."

"Because he does, that's all there is to it. We won't always have all the time in the world."

He glanced at the others as he answered Felix's question, letting his eyes linger on their happy expressions as his own heart felt rotten at the realization. "You'll be fine, Felix. Don't stress over it too much; you're our sunshine, just keep. . . being bright." Seungmin smiled reassuringly, patting his shoulder before heading towards Jeongin.

Felix didn't feel like staying in here anymore. He knew Seungmin was saying that to be helpful, but it was him that Chan relied on, not Seungmin. Yeah, sure, Felix could easily brush this off and tell Chan that he wasn't going to do it, but in reality, it hurt to see Chan's point of view.

Felix knew.

He knew he wouldn't have all the time in the world with his brothers; and he knew Chan was going to leave them soon too. He licked his lips, not enjoying the stuffiness of the room as he grabbed a another bottle and made a beeline for the deck. As soon as the back door closed behind him, it opened again.

Another pair of feet planted beside him, adorned in boots in comparison to the slippers that Felix had haphazardly taken outside with him. "Don't drink that," Chan tutted, grabbing the bottle of alcohol and slipping water into his hand instead. Felix mindlessly gripped at the cap, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Thanks,"

"No problem,"

There was a sudden silence, chirping crickets filling in the beats of quiet as they sat there in the cold. Chan finally spoke up, "You know I care about you, Lix, right?" Felix nodded, still stuck on words as they crept up his throat and hid there. Just like with Y/n, he was too much of a coward to speak.

"I'm not trying to push you," Chan said, his tone soft while his words comforted the boy beside him. Felix's cheeks grew pink, the cold air nipping at his skin. "You're doing this because you don't want me to be alone, I know." This time, it was Chan's turn to nod. It was an almost unspoken language; their genuine care and love for each other didn't have to be proclaimed.

"Just. . . why now? When you're leaving us all behind," Felix's voice faltered, cracking as soon as he asked the question. His eyes glazed over with tears, already feeling himself begin to sniffle in order to fight back his need to cry. "I can't just leave you with nobody else to annoy you in return." Chan joked, smiling lighty.

Felix laughed in return, quickly wiping away the tears that threatened to streak down his cheeks. "I want the best for you, Lix; I really do, but I need to know you'll be okay too. The others. . . they'll have their own things as well. You'll be okay though, yeah? You're our sunshine." Chan smiled adorably, glancing at the boy.

"To be honest. . . I'm not only going their for work."

Felix looked up with a startled look.

"Only Minho-ah knows, but I want to go to the states really badly," A sheepish chuckle left his lips as he scratched at his nose. "There's this really wonderful person I met online. She's just. . . she's amazing. I've known her for a while now, nearly three years but we promised not to get together until we actually saw each other."

Chan pursed his lips, letting Felix process the entire explanation. "I want you to experience that feeling too." The boy said, letting out a breath as he admitted it. The two sat in silence again before it was broken by Felix's choked sob, his head immediately going to bury it in Chan's shoulder. Chan didn't object, putting an arm around the younger boy's shoulder comfortingly.

"I'll always find you, yeah?" Chan tried to blink back his own tears, a pained smile shaping his lips. "I'm not gonna leave you behind."