MY DAYS WITH YOU

Part 22 Doubts

"When you fully trust someone without any doubt, you finally get one of two results: A person for life or a lesson for life." ~Daily love~

"Love is weakest when there is more doubt than trust but love is strongest when we learn to trust in spite of the doubts." Unknown~

A/N: Mount St. Helens is a dangerous volcano in Seattle, Washington. Moshi moshi (Hello in Japanese). Pics cr. to the owners

Sam could not believe it; Gulf left her standing there after spending the night with her. She could hear the door being slam as the sound resonated around the apartment; it also reached her heart, hurt her knowing that Gulf is rushing home, and running to see him.

Sam could not handle it, all these years she wanted to be with Gulf, but Gulf never paid attention to her like that. She is okay with it because she knows that Gulf is not interested in anyone else, now here comes Mew.

Standing by her vanity dresser, Sam picked up her Ruby Woo lipstick and wrote (MINE!) in the mirror. Sam looked at the word and began to write Gulf's name around it. Sam closed her eyes, inhale, and started to scream at her reflection.

The flower, the small mirror, her makeup, and even her perfumes flew away. She began to throw things all over as she screamed her lungs out. When she finally stops, Sam was panting, alternate between looking at the wording and looking at herself. "Gulf, you are mine, you will be mine."

She told herself, and sat on the rug, looking around her mess, and began to laugh. It was hysterical laughter, the one in where you combine laughing and crying at the same time.

*************

The world around Mew turned dark the moment he heard Dr. Sam's voice over the phone. "Dr. Sam, is that you?" He asked. When Samantha confirmed that it was her; indeed, he felt his knees were becoming weak. He tried to hold on but could not bear it and hang up.

Mew sat down on the bed. After he woke up for his morning run and realized that Gulf's car was not there, he panicked and went upstairs to knock on Gulf's room. After a while, he decided to go in and noticed the bed was empty like no one slept in. So, he decided to call his cellphone and Sam was the one to pick it up.

Mew was trying to hold on, he needed to calm down, he only had a few days since he recuperated and would not want to end up in the hospital again. Looking at the cellphone in his hand. "Gulf, you preferred to be with her than with me." Mew felt his heart shrinking; he felt Sam's words were crushing him. Preventing him from breathing.

As he felt his world collapsing, Mew heard Lamai's voice on his head. "Talk to him. Listen to him. Don't push him too much." Mew inhale as he tried to calm down and for the first time, he will be honest to himself.

Mew placed the phone on the bed and covered his head with both hands. "I will let you free, I will stop pushing you. I know you feel something for me and are afraid to show it. I will stay away." Mew's eyes began to burn, the tears were falling, mourning the unborn love between him and Gulf. He knows that Gulf will never accept him as a lover; he knows that the Gulf has other life goals. Mew decided to go to his studio and express his emotions, the best way he knows.

Walking downstairs, barely staying up, his knees are still weak, his heart is on the floor in pieces, but he needs to be strong. He cannot let Gulf see him crying; he will not pressure Gulf to accept him.

*********

Gulf slams the door behind him, not caring if it was too early in the morning. He has one goal in mind, well, two. The first one was to get home and explain to Mew. It was not intestinal for him to spend the night with Sam. The other goal was to get out of that bed, that house.