Disperse - Kageyama x Reader (Fluff + Angst)

Chapter 3: Spilled Milk

You look at his startled face - his midnight blue eyes slight widened with a flushed, rosy hue on the tip of Kageyama's nose from the cold - and meticulously compare your sketch with the reference. It is incomplete, as expected for a basic sketch of his front portrait: the lifeless, dull eyes; the hair, lacking of dynamic shading and highlights; and worst, the messily, lightly scribbled background flawing your sketch. Signing, you leave the art club and head towards the gymnasium, buying two cartons of milk along the way.

Crap. I'm already late.

Puncturing the two straws, you finally enter the gym, empty except for the first years: Tsukishima and Yamaguchi preparing to leave while Kageyama and Hinata relentlessly practice their quick attacks. You silently wave to the two on the benches and turn to the duo.

"Hey Hinata! Hey Tobio! I bought you some milk, Kags, so let's take a short break whenever you're ready!" you smile cheerfully.

He ignores you, barely listening to your words. Your smiles fades as he brushes you off.

"One word of advice, 'your majesty,' it's not very nice to ignore your girlfriend over here" Tsukishima speaks up from behind your figure, startling you.

Kageyama scowls at him.

"Tsukishima, you don't have to say that!"

"(Y/N) is not my girlfriend," his voice growls menacingly low.

His words stung, no different from the shards of your reflection that reminiscently did, but they were invariable. It is the truth.

"Oh right! I forgot. Does the king need his slave to buy him milk? Turns out his majesty is such a baby! What a surprise. You can't do it yourself, can you?"

"Shut up."

"Have it your way. I'll be leaving as your lowly present then. Later," he waves, smirking, with Yamaguchi tailing behind him.

"Tobio, I-"

"Shut up. Don't call me that."

"W-what?"

"Dumbass, people will get the wrong idea that I could like someone like you."

"Oh."

The carton in your left grasp slips, its contents spilling onto the now-stained floor.

"Kageyama, you didn't have to..." Hinata's voice fades away as his words seep, intoxicating.

The paper cuts of diction sting, cutting their edge deeply, a permanent wound.

"I'm sorry. Here, just take it," you shove the carton into his hands, leaving the spilled milk behind.

Time Skip:

It is 2 AM when the continuous anxiety pulses through your mind. You lie in bed with too many thoughts in your head, the lights in your bedroom still on.

He hates me, doesn't he?

You told him you weren't going to cry anymore. You told him that you would try harder. You told him that you would be stronger, but you couldn't.

I'm not going to cry. I told him that. I am not going to cry.

So you don't. Furrowing your brows, you storm angrily to your desk drawer with watery eyes and seize your inking pens, slamming it onto your desk.

"I need to set things right with Tob-" you suddenly cut yourself off, almost forgetting. "... Kageyama. I-I'm going to apologize tomorrow."

You ink meticulously, curving every line despite your shaking hands.

"I am not going to cry."

Wet dots suddenly stain the paper as you clench the pen tightly, your nails nearly digging into the nib.

"I said I would try harder."

You grit your teeth, a loathing frustration clawing your stomach. It's branches grow from the seed of accumulating dark matter, an acrid hated of the desire to erase the failures.

"I told him..."

Your hand abruptly jerks downwards, flawing his face with a protuberant mistake.

Shit.

The searing pain inflames as you crumple the unfinished drawing. It is a failure, and it isn't of the better.

"Each fail will always be better than the last!"

No. Even if he is wrong, you still promised

"... that I wouldn't cry over spilled milk.

The frustration suddenly dissipates, and you are left with nothing. Tears roll down your cheeks, but it doesn't matter anymore: you already broke it.