Disperse - Kageyama x Reader (Fluff + Angst)

Chapter 4: Here

The alarm shrieks, suddenly awaking you from the placid emptiness of sleep. You groan as exhaustion - or was it the given known of seeming him once again - weighs against your chest; it was all the same. Soon enough, you groggily rise, neglecting the crumpled sheet of paper littered upon the floor. Heavy eyebags and disheveled hair portray the fatigue that eventually concedes to the everlasting chill fevering throughout your body.

You stand at the vending machine however buying none of the beverages. It is only the routinely act of you subconscious, vacant habits stirring a somber nostalgia with pointless meanings.

Suddenly, you see him, instinctively hanging your head low to avoid Kageyama's pleading looks to speak to you. You nervously fidget with the string of your gray hoodie as if it could waver his unblinking stares. His steps approach inevitably, dissension paralyzing the persistent voices of regret. Suddenly, he halts, his gaze penetrating through your feeble wall.

"Excuse me, can you move?"

His stoic, cold voice dispatches a bitter cold throughout your spine. Your mouth opens to speak as hollow speech pervades the empty silence. Ignorance is cowardice, merely a failure of void attempts.

The bell rings.

"Alright class. We will be doing a project on DNA replication. You will be working in pairs to write an essay that is due three days from today. And yes, you will get to choose your partners."

Immediately, the class rises from their seats and gathers within their friend groups to decide among partners... except for you. You sigh solemnly as you stare aimlessly at the blank pages of your notebook, ridden of notes and sketches.

Your hands refuse to move

Because all my thoughts are pinned on Tobio.

"Alright, class. Does everyone have their partners for this project?"

Everyone turns their averts their attention solely onto you, and you alone.

Tensing your shoulders, you detect their stares intuitively, perceiving their cruel judgements already. You know. You know because it is true, because their stoic, condemning eyes relentlessly follow a "freak." You retreat into your arms, but even so, it is fruitless, their expectations unforgiving.

I wish I don't have to care. I... I w-wish that everything could go away.

And it does, everything around you softly fading as you succumb to the darkness, falling.

Here, it is void of all but your peers who are so far above, so far ahead of you. Here, they stare at you contemptibly, a disdain in their limpid view. Here, you are lost in the ambiguity, lacking a sense of direction. Here, you can never catch up to their expectations.

Here, your legs are rooted underneath the entrenched, murky pit. You cry for help, but they merely watch your body drowning deeper into the mud. They ignore your pleas, morphing into a charcoal black as it smirks with a lowly sadistic hatred. Its grotesque, mutated figure hunches, a creation of envy, frustration, and anxiety itself. It slowly retreats to abandon your helpless form, but still, its whispers proceed to pound relentlessly.

"Look at yourself, bitch."

"Tch. Good for nothing, brat."

"Why was Kageyama your 'friend' in the first place?"

"Well? Oh, it looks like (Y/N) here doesn't have a partner - haha what a loner," their voices are distorted, overlapping and cutting off one other.

"Stop talking."

"That's not very surprising - because obviously dumbasses are dumbasses - but- oh, Kageyama? You don't have a partner as well? This is all your fault."

"Shut up."

"I guess the two of you can work together, then. I pity the boy. Tch. Working with a freak-"

"SHUT UP."

"(Y/N), please go report to the office, now."

Look what you did now.