A desperation envelops the silent atmosphere. You can't lose him. No. Not after all of this. Not after a month of preparation. Not after these nine years.
"T-Tobio."
One.
"(L/N), I told you to-"
"Right, it's Kageyama. I'm sorry... I can't help it. I just keep forgetting. A-actually, though, I came here to apologize for another thing," you catch your breath shortly, biting the inside of your mouth. "That day, a month ago, when I-I... I-"
Your speech stifles as his indifferent stares choke the words, the truth, from your throat.
"I, I can't-" you falter, apprehension ensnaring speech.
"When, that time, I, I..." your voice hushes into a diminished whisper, nails digging into your palm as the envisioned aftermath of failure oppresses beneath you. "I'M SORRY! I didn't mean it. What I did, just forget about it. I wasn't thinking."
Anywhere, somewhere, you search for a falsified satisfaction, a superficiality, to the remark.
Two
Like that would ever be good enough if you wanted to apologize properly.
"Why?" his brows furrow at your empty silence. "Why did you kiss me?"
"I-I... I don't know."
"That's not an answer."
"... I wasn't thinking," tears blur the corner of your eyes
"Lies. Don't you fucking dare say the same excuses."
"I don't know," you whisper.
You don't know?
Three.
"No. You think I'm stupid?" he narrows his eyes. "You think I could accept that lame response as an excuse? Then tell me why."
"It's because I... I-"
Oh, (Y/N), are you going to lie to him, to fabricate a tapestry of deceit?
"Tobio, I,"
Of all the possible times, are you too afraid to admit to reality?
"I, I-"
Or will you tell him the truth, to tear this tapestry into inconsequential shreds... well?
"I."
Love you.
Four.
Fuck. Knees chafe the concrete floor. Already, you fail, a protruding incision upon the newly erased slate.
"Seriously? You can't even tell yourself the truth. I don't understand how I managed to barely tolerate you before, such a fucking dumbass. "
"Wait, Kageyama, just take it," you urge, pushing the frame against his hands.
A frame endlessly spent nine hours to depict. A frame captured a perfect set. A frame failed to mend an unrepairable tear.
"Don't pretend like that piece of shit is worthy of my forgiveness," disdain laces his voice, and he doesn't regret it.
Five.
YOU ARE READING
Disperse - Kageyama x Reader (Fluff + Angst)
FanfictionA Kageyama x Reader (Angst + Fluff) By C Warnings: Suicide and Depression, Insecurities, Profanity Notes: 1. I accept constructive criticism with editorial issues and revisions 2. Updates will arbitrarily vary depending on my schedule 3. Do not re...
