TACENDA // Technoblade X Reader

23

You laid in bed, awake, watching as the moonlit shadows made strange patterns across your ceiling, thinking about everything and nothing. 

You could still feel the imprint of his lips on yours, and you traced your finger over your mouth, mapping out where his fangs had pressed against the skin. You had never been so confused about your own feelings in your life, and it was keeping you from sleep. 

Looking back, you had missed so many signs. 

His eyes, following you through the garden as you walked. The gentle inflection of his voice when he spoke to you. His hand on your lower back as you danced through the night. The shy glances, the insecurity about how he looked, the easy laughter and the constant friendship. How had you not seen it before?

But it made so much sense now. The twins had been right all along - he'd fallen in love in the garden, under the sweet afternoon light.

And you were beginning to think you had as well. 

The more you thought about it, the more the jittery giddy feeling in your gut swelled and grew, until you were feeling warm and fuzzy down to your fingertips. Of course, there had always been a fondness in your heart for Technoblade, but you had never thought much of it until now. And this giddy... something... growing in your gut felt a lot like requited love. 

From the moment you had seen him, you had known Technoblade was attractive. He was magnetic and otherworldly in appearance - the same way the twins caught the eye of many court members, just for looking the way they did. You hadn't thought much of it then, but you did now, mind tracing over memories of that jagged smile, bright eyes and long silky hair, the color of a pink sunset sky. 

That wasn't the only attractive thing about him though - in court, he had the laid-back air of someone who was completely in control of the situation, even though he was not a king here. Just looking at him in the eye was a feat for most members of the court - everyone in that room was acutely aware that he could draw his blade and kill them all in a second.

That, juxtaposed with the shy demeanor you had come to know in the garden (the Technoblade that was hesitant to take off his boots for fear you see his hooves, told bad jokes and complained about his brothers) made for a sort of magnetic character that you couldn't help but be drawn to. 

It wouldn't be a bad match, if he were to court you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, exhaling. Did that mean you wanted him to court you? You had never thought much about courting or marriage before, assured as you were that your father would find a match for you, as the second born. But now, thinking about Technoblade and a possible courtship... 

You could imagine it now - long walks in the garden, laughing at his bad jokes, playing silly board games and talking about all the places you wanted to travel... he would be a good match. He would treat you well, and you trusted him with your life. 

Was that normal to think about a friend?

Or had he always been somewhat more than a friend, even if you hadn't realized it before?

You opened your eyes to watch the shadows dance across the ceiling again. Maybe you had always been in love with him, a little bit. It made sense - he was good, and kind, and treated you like an equal, even though you had no doubt he was twice your superior. You could do a whole lot worse than him; there had always been nobles vying their children for you hand, or you could have ended up with someone like Colin. Technoblade was vastly better looking and of better personality than anyone you had met before-

Perhaps you were a lot in love with him then.

The giddy feeling in your stomach increased by tenfold - you were in love with him, and he had kissed you. 

But then he had run away. 

It was just like him to think that he had screwed everything up, wasn't it? If only you had come to this realization earlier, you might have been able to avoid that... you would have to find him at some point tomorrow and tell him that no, you didn't hate him for assuming and kissing you, in fact, you wanted to do it again, for the rest of your life, if he would allow it. 

You rolled over in bed with a smile on your face, feelings finally sorted out. 

Only to still not be able to get to sleep. 

The knowledge that you were in love with him wouldn't let you sleep either though - sorting out your feelings had only made the nerves in your stomach roil more. You rolled over a few times, trying to get comfortable, only to start thinking about Technoblade again and start the whole process over. 

You sighed, staring at your ceiling. You were going to be tired tomorrow if you didn't get to sleep... it would be like the night you had spent rolling in bed thinking about assassins, only to go wander the halls and stand on that balcony until morning...

With Technoblade. 

You were out of bed before you knew it, slipping the orb the twins had given you into the pocket of your nightshirt as a precaution. If there was a chance that he would be on that balcony again, you had to at least check. Knowing that he was probably berating himself for the kiss was killing you - and you weren't going to get any sleep until you had the peace of mind that he knew the feelings were requited. 

You didn't bother with shoes as you slipped out the door and headed towards the west wing of the palace, following the patches of torchlight and moonlit windows.