Just as You Are || Death Note || L

Chapter 17: Boredom and How to Cure it

As we ride in L's very fancy car, my elbow rests on the round of the car door, as one leg bounces, almost uncontrollably. I'm nearly shaking. Am I anxious? Nervous? Afraid that this will be for nothing? I'm sure it's all a combination of those things and then some. All this while I wait for L to get off the phone with Mr Yagami, informing him that he will be busy today, and that he can join the others at the hotel, without us.

I steal a peek of him as he looks down to the floor of the car, his knees tucked to his chest.

"Yes, of course." His voice, a voice that I've become all too familiar with. One that I could pick out from among multitudes, fills the otherwise silence in the vehicle.

Humming in response to whatever Mr. Yagami has said, his eyes flick up to mine, as if he sensed me looking at him. Just as soon as he looks, I turn to look out of my window. I feel my cheeks flush from being caught. I can still feel his eyes boring into me, and I pray he can't see my pink hue. I dare not look though. He's never had a problem holding eye contact, where as most people would break it. Someone like me, unable to hold such an intense gaze.

Their conversation comes to it's end, and L hangs up his phone. When he does, my chest tights, and I have to remained myself to breath. I furrow my brows at myself, as I wonder why the hell I'm so anxious. I shouldn't be acting this way. I'm an adult for gods sake.

I shut my eyes, and take a deep breath to calm myself, and thankfully it helps, even if just a little.

"Are you nervous?" My eyes open with the breaking of the unbearable silence.

I cross my arms over my chest, and I hold onto my shoulder, allowing my face to rest on the arm, almost as if to hide behind it. "Yeah," I nod, "I am."

"Why?" He asks, and my eyes flick to him, the rest of my face still hidden behind my arm.

"I -" My voices shakes, and I wonder if it's enough for him to notice, "I'm not sure."

...

I take in the warmth of the beaming sun on my face. I finally feel relaxed, now that I'm not in the suffocating car. What is it with small spaces lately? I'm not claustrophobic.

"This is the correct location?" L asks, shuffling his way to my side. I look down at his feet, shocked that he's wearing shoes.

"I think, it's been so long..." I look around, then face him, "There was a coffee shop just across from the park."

He hums, nodding, "This should be the place then." He starts shuffling toward a walkway through the park, "Come. We can take a stroll while we look."

I follow beside him.

The soft breeze caresses my face. Birds sing over head, people sit around, play and enjoy the beautiful greenery the park has to offer. Still, I don't see an area that looks familiar too me yet, so we continue on a wide pathway, further into the park.

"We must be at the other side of where I was." I mumble. I glance to L as he shuffles along, eyes fixed in front of him, hands resting in his pockets. "Do you... go out much?" I ask nervously, as a way to break the silence.

"No. Not often." He sighs, "Most of the time, I'm far too busy." He glances at the surrounding area.

"I'm not saying to neglect your job or anything, but you should get out every once in a while. You know, to enjoy the simple things." I watch the ground move beneath me.

He remains silent, for a moment. Long enough to bring my attention to him, and meet his eyes that were already on me. "Yes. Perhaps I should."

The path becomes more windy and narrow. Just enough space for the two of us. We come across a pond, edged nicely with grey stones. There are a few benches on the edge, and ducks swim gathered together. An involuntary smile comes to my face. While cats may be my favorite pet, I love animals all around. I would probably pet anything, if it would let me.

I gasp, and tug on L's sleeve, just enough to get him to stop, "Oh my gosh Ryuzaki! Look!" I point to a crank vendor, holding pellets that are meant to feed the ducks, the smile ever growing on my face. "I have too!"

I quickly go to the little machine, stepping over any rocks, and around the bench it sits next too. I fish in my pockets for some change, checking both the front and back ones. My shoulders slump, and my lips presses out into a pout. "Dang it." I mumble.

"What is it?" L asks. I hadn't realized he followed. "Oh, nothing. We should keep looking."

"I thought you were going to feed the ducks?" His head tilts a little. "Yeah, I was. I don't have any change so... oh well." I laugh nervously.

His hand fiddles in his pocket, before he pulls out exactly what I need, "Here."

At the sight of the coin, my eyes shoot open, and my hand covers the giant smile on my face, "Are you sure?"

"Of course. It's just a quarter."

I squeal, take the coin, and shove it into the slot. I'm giddy, and practically do a wiggle dance from excitement. I scoop the pellets into my hand, and throw some into the water at the ponds side. When the food plops in, the ducks waste no time, and immediately swim over to start nibbling it up.

Beaming, I turn around, and see L looking ever so curiously, head cocked. So I flash a bright smile and return to caring for my new found friends.