My Life with You

Chapter 16

A/N - Hello! So my life has gone a little off the rails this last week, but I wanted to make sure I could get this chapter out. I also have some fun news for y'all. Pettygaygirl from AO3 and I have started writing a new ABO Kiribaku fic that we posted on AO3. It's angstier than what my normal fics are, but I am incredibly excited about it. I would also like to give her a massive shoutout for helping to inspire the direction and major points of this chapter. I kept getting stuck and our conversations would help me to figure out the next step, so thank you. Anyways enjoy, and look out for our new fic, only in my darkest moments can i see the light.

"Hi, Bakugo. C'mon in."  Bakugo looked up at the familiar voice calling him from the doorway.  His therapist, Nakajima Nozomi, stood with a smile on her face. Following her into the office, he felt a small weight lift. After his kidnapping his first year, Aizawa had suggested him going and seeing a therapist.  He stubbornly refused, but after a few more traumatic experiences he finally relented. His first therapy experience almost caused him to never go back.  The therapist had been very dismissive and too pushy about him opening up. Kiri convinced him to try again, and so he went to a different one, and she was nice but they just didn't  click in a way that was comfortable enough for him to open up. Then he finally found Nozomi, and she pushed him in ways that didn't cause him to shut down, and encouraged him to keep pushing himself. "How's everything going?" She asked as they settled in. "I know you've been having mixed emotions through the whole pregnancy, and that you said you've been struggling with some things."

"I've been doing alright. Ei has been really amazing and supportive.  His excitement is really fucking contagious. I feel like my mind is reverting to stupid old habits though."  Bakugo replied. 

"I am really happy to hear about the shift in your feelings on the pregnancy. As for reverting back to old habits, it's natural to have those old ways of thinking pop back up from time to time.  All that matters is redirecting your thought process and trying your best to remind yourself about the growth you made.  What makes you think your thoughts are reverting back to old habits?" 

"I saw Dek- I mean Izuku this weekend."  One of the hardest habits he has been trying to break is not calling Izuku Deku unless he is in his hero costume.  He hasn’t been doing a great job of it, if he was being honest.  "My jealousy was getting out of control, if I hadn’t noticed it getting to the level it was, it probably would have ruined the entire night. It almost did.”  

“Well, the fact that you realized it, and redirected your thoughts is amazing progress from where you were a few years ago.  I know it’s hard, but it’s okay to acknowledge the growth you’ve made, and that where you’re at now is better than where you were.  As long as you don’t stop trying to improve where you are at, then that’s all that matters.  What made the feelings arise?”

Bakugo explained what had happened, how Izuku really hadn’t tried to steal the spotlight, but his jealousy reared its head.  They talked about ways for him to manage his old patterns of thought.  Eventually they moved on to discussing the pregnancy and his relationship with Ei more in depth. Soon the session came to an end, and Katsuki’s shoulders felt worlds lighter.  He got home, and climbed into the nest.  In the last few years, his therapy sessions had gone down in frequency, from going a few times a week, to one about every two months.  Every time he had a session, he forgot how emotionally tired he’d feel, even if it was a good session.  He has never been good with emotions, so talking about his and really diving into them for an hour was very draining.  He looked at the clock, it was 4:30, Kiri wasn’t supposed to be home for another hour so he could take a nap.  Bakugo quickly fell asleep, curled up in the nest, his hands cradling his stomach, where his pup was growing.

He blinked his eyes blearily, trying to clear the sleep out of them.  Rolling over, he looked at the time, and his stomach filled with dread.  It was 7:30. Normally, Kiri would have woken him up when he got home, or at least climbed into the nest with him.  Bakugo climbed out of the nest, doing his best to try to pick up any sounds in the house.  His hearing wasn’t what it used to be.  It wasn’t bad enough where he needed assistance yet, but it definitely affected his perception of sounds.  Padding down the stairs, he heard a muffled sound he couldn’t quite make out.  He headed towards the sound, trying to place it, but his mind still wasn’t 100% awake yet.  As he got closer to the living room, he finally placed it.  His heart broke as he heard his mate crying.  He stood still for a second, trying to figure out what could have caused it.  Coming up empty, he made his way into the room.