Not a Dream 18+ (REVISING)

06

I didn't allowed him just because I was drunk, that I am under the spirit of alcohol. The world might not be stable on my sight when I am drunk but I know what I am doing.

I allowed him because I want too. His eyes were so sincere when he said i'll have him. At that moment, he made me believe I can start again, and it is with him.

We are so different with each other, I am like the darkness and he is the light.

He used my body, not only once not only twice but morethan trice. I woke up on his bed expecting him by my side. But instead of him, a letter is on my side.

I remember myself looking like a fool with a big smile on my face because I thought it was sweet. But the content broke me. I didn't know how to react. I wish it is just a dream, or a prank that he is so good of doing but it's the reality. The reality that he used me.

In the letter, he thanked me. He thanked me for being such as amazing lady who satisfied him. He said, I am the best and that it will be hard looking for someone who's as good as me.

That letter ain't that long, it ain't sweet nor heartwarming just like how letters made us feel. For me it's like a death note, a death note that already killed me just by reading it.

I am a fool, a naive. I thought he had a hard time handling me but all along he is just playing.

Just when I thought the letter is enough to break me. The whole room was actually arranged like a birthday surprise, the only different is that, it is a celebration of playing me. The whole room is filled with thank you and it hurts like hell.

Tell me whatever, I'll accept that. I gave myself to someone I met during a vacation.

Two months later i went back looking for him. I tried asking for his number and even where he is living, but they didn't tell me. I am lost, I left home because I am embarrass. He got me pregnant, that kid got me pregnant but he is nowhere, I can't find him.

I have no one, and I didn't expect that it will be that hard. I even thought of giving up but the thought of having someone inside me, made me continue living.

It was hard, and until now it's hard. But I could say it was worth it. Even though he left me this angel who exactly look like me, it is worth it.

She gave me hope, she kept me going. Taehyung gave me light when I met him but in led me to a darker path, a darker path that I need to surpass in order to finally see the light. And here is the light, my baby infront of me.

"I'll go to work. Please take care of her." I said to grandma. I am not related to her but I am living with her. When I gave birth of my baby, that when he appeared on my life. She is my neighbor and just like me, she has no one with her. We're both renting our home, but when we got closer, I eventually asked her to move in on my place. She is like a real grandma to me.

When I arrived on my seat, another flower is on my desk. One of my workmate is trying to get my attention but I am not interested. I am too focus at work, I need to make a living. Dating or anything related to having relationship with a boy ain't my thing, they will only end up leaving me.

"I am not throwing it. This will become another gift for the trash collector." I said as I toss the flower and the chocolate on the trash bin.

Call me harsh but I already told him that I am not interested. He said he likes what I am doing, that it's not hard for him and courting me is like adventure.

I ain't for anyone's pleasure nor entertainment.

I spend mg whole day on the office. When I noticed that it's dark outside, I stand up to take my leave.

I am waiting for a taxi when an unexpected person appeared infront of me.

Am I dreaming? Cause if I am then wake me up cause I don't wanna be here.

"Seungwan." He slowly walk towards me. He never changed, nothing on his look changed, guess he never encounter pain or hardship after leaving me.

"Don't." I said when he is about to take a step closer to me. If he came earlier then I'll hug him right away, saying I miss him. I won't even ask question about why did he leave me or where did he go. I'll just hug him and tell him that after all those years, i still love him. But things are different now, i am not the seungwan or wendy he knows. I ain't the girl who is dependent on him.

"I miss you." I won't deny the fact that my heart is shattering, cause it is. I loved this man for a long time. I even thought, I'll have him forever. I thought, we're the one for each other. I prayed a lot and dream a lot for the future I wanted us to have, and seeing him now hurts as hell because I know, he is not the end game, he is not for me. He is just infront of me, but he seem so far. I can't reach him, I will never have the chance to reach him again.

"You look well. Guess you're happy on your marriage." Those words taste bitter. "Min Yoongi, it's been awhile."

"Can we talk?" He asked. I hate that his eyes are still as expressive as the are back then. He can't show me that he is hurting, cause I'm sure he is not.

"We have nothing to talk." I said. I was about to walk out from him just like what I've been doing all my life. Walk out and never be seen.

He stopped me by grabbing my shoulder, "Seungwa-" but I cutted his words.

"Don't touch me!" He can't just touch me as if we're still on the same page like before. No one even touch me and I decided not to be held on any part of my body ever again.

"I'm sorry." I was about to answer him when I phone rang and it is from unknown number.

(Seungwan, is this you?) It's grandma.

"Yes, it's me. Why? I'm about to go home."

(I'm at the hospital, I forgot my phone. Light has a high fever.) I am aware that she is just trying to sound calm.

"Send me the address, I'm going." I said as I hang up. I tried getting in on every car that passed but no one let me it. Fuck it, I need to see my baby.

I felt my tears streaming down my face.

"Hey are you okay?" I forgot that yoongi is still here. "Hey."

"Shut up, I need to go now." I said, not looking at him.

"I can take you where you are going. Please calm down." without hesitation, I glab his offer.

I can lower my pride for my baby, if it is for my angel.

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I'm sorry if it's getting boring. I promise, when I am not busy and have a lot time, I will edit some plots and dialogue. But if you enjoy it, please leave comments and vote, thano you!!

Again, there are still wrong grammars and wrong spellings because I don't have time to double check it but I hope you understand.