Stop Calling me That (mcyt + ftm reader) -Book 1/2-

-8-

((The A/N at the bottom is referring to a hiatus I took from the book))

((Warnings: heavy dysphoria))

Y/n skimmed through his recommended feed, liking most of the things which popped up on it as he went.

He'd been off call with Tommy for a while now. They'd been messing around when the dysphoria hit hard and y/n found himself struggling to speak because his own voice hurt. And he couldn't even try lowering it because that would have been obvious.

He'd made up some half hearted excuse to leave as soon as he felt it wouldn't ruin the mood. Thank goodness Tubbo had joined the call just before he worked himself up and left.

As soon as he shut his laptop he span around in his chair and stood, walking to his bed. He plopped down and wrapped himself so deeply in his blankets his body became completely unrecognizable as anything at all. Just as he had hoped it would. He shivered despite the warmth. The gross feelings were back.

If he didn't breathe for long enough maybe he could forget. Maybe he could lose the weight on his chest, both literally and metaphorically, if he just didn't think about it.

He sighed, smashing his face into his pillow before rolling over and pulling out his phone.

As long as he didn't move too much he only kind of noticed. And the Internet was a great distraction.

But what was even better than a distraction would be feeling better.

He switched over to YouTube, scrolling through his suggestions to find something which would hold his attention well.

He tried not to be bitter as he saw Tommy in a thumbnail. Everything he wanted to be, and he just got it like tha-

"No," he hissed to himself. NO. He would absolutely not let jealousy mess up their friendship. He would not let jealousy mess up their friendship. He would not let jealousy mess up their frien-

He froze as his eyes picked up motion on the screen. One of the videos in his suggested had started playing as he hovered too long. On the screen was an image of a guy talking excitedly and waving around what looked like a tank top, and in the subtitles it read:

Binder giveaway! Follow and comment to enter!

There was no way he'd win, he knew that. But... there was no harm in it, was there? Might as well. He tapped subscribe, commented something stupid and moved on.

A/N: Short chapter for having just been gone a couple weeks I know. Feel free to skip this, I know author notes can be annoying, especially after that cop-out of a chapter. I just want to say thank you so much for anything you've done with the story. It's been crazy to see how it's gaining traction lately. It hit 1k reads.. and then 2k.. both within only a few days. I remember getting all excited and nervous when it first got to 10. Now, knowing over 200 people have seen most of the chapters. The "terms and conditions" has passed 300. It's crazy.

Seeing people vote for the chapters, especially in quick succession, is so sweet too. It's nice to know people like what I do, even if it's something a little bit nerdy. We just hit 82 votes total as I'm writing this (134 as of posting), it's crazy to me still. I know it doesn't sound like that much compared to some other creators but with this being my first proper long-term fanfic it's been insane the kind of support I've been getting. Thank you guys so much :,) AND it's been super cool to see that there is a sub-community for people like me, who are LGBTQ+ (especially the t) and into MCYT. It's awesome.

And to everyone who has commented I just want to say I love you so much and you are so awesome. Even when I don't respond, I read every comment, and they are one of my favorite parts of writing. So thank you very much. We're at around 50 now, even though a lot of them were me responding. It's always lovely and super encouraging, even if it's just something like "oof" As just one example, the person who wrote "damn I don't get to be skeppy," thank you. I laughed so stupid hard at that. And people sharing their comfort songs with me was so sweet. I'll probably use some of those at the beginnings of some chapters. Maybe even as inspiration ;)

If you did bother reading that word vomit, thank you too. I hope you're liking the story so far and I'm excited for where it's going. Stay safe and hydrate my fellow brethren. Brothers. Men.

Peace -Z

:)

Can't believe I just wrote an author note that's as long as the chapter lmao sorry