Stop Calling me That (mcyt + ftm reader) -Book 1/2-

-28-

((This is a rough one, boys. Please take care of yourselves.))

((SKIPPABLE! IF YOU NEED TO! THERE'S A RECAP!))

((tw the song at the top is about ed and could be triggering))

((Warnings for first part: crying, guilt))

Y/n wasn't sure what it was that made Wilbur feel so safe to him. He didn't know when it had happened or why, if it had been because of something Wilbur had done or if it had just been destined to be. He didn't know what about him made Wilbur feel like someone he could go to with anything.

He also didn't know how soon that would come to an end. How could he have known what that morning would bring? How it would change everything.

The answer was simple. He couldn't have.

Y/n didn't know any of what was coming. All that he knew was he was safe and warm and falling asleep in Wilbur's car.

He'd woken up a few hours later, sitting up from his spot on the floor. The three had been taking turns sharing the bed, the other two stacking up extra pillows in a makeshift mattress. He'd rolled over at some point in the night. He could feel the carpet's texture imprinted onto his exposed skin when he brushed over it, so it must have been a while ago. At least he hadn't been sleeping in the car. Sapnap had decided to go out there instead of the couch, saying something about 'sleep sounds.'

The other two were fast asleep, but he could already tell he wouldn't be able to do the same. He pushed up from the floor as silently as he could, creeping around the edge of the bed and to the door. The alarm clock on the bedside table read '4:17,' it's bright red numbers mocking him.

He had no idea what had woken him up until he swallowed, cringing at the dryness in both his throat and his eyes. The effects of last night's breakdown were clearly taking a toll on him. He wasn't sure what his exact plan had been. Probably to get some water, maybe go outside so as to not wake anyone up.

He trudged out of the room and got halfway down the hall before he heard it. People in the living room. It should have been empty with Sapnap outside, but it wasn't.

"Phil, I told you it's fine."

He froze. Phil's sigh was barely audible from where he stood in the hall. He knew that he shouldn't, but he couldn't help but listen in. It was clear that they were already at least a few minutes into whatever they'd been talking about when he came up.

"That's bullshit." Despite the harshness of his words his voice was nothing but genuine. His next words Y/n couldn't quite make out. All he heard was "late night walks," and "when you're stressed."

He moved slightly further down the hall towards the living room, straining to make out Wilbur's next words.

"Phil, I promise, I," Wilbur inhaled shakily. "I- I," he stuttered, voice trembling before he broke. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Phil, I'm so sorry."

And then it happened. Wilbur, the strongest, safest, most 'perfect' person that Y/n knew... started crying. Y/n could hear it in his voice, could hear his messy and pained breaths.

Y/n had only stood there for another minute but it had been enough. Enough to realize what Wilbur had been hiding all this time. He silently made his way back to the guest room, wrapping himself tightly in his blanket to stare at the wall.

He didn't sleep the rest of the night.