Stop Calling me That (mcyt + ftm reader) -Book 1/2-

-1-

READ THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OR LEAVE. DEADASS

((Please stop commenting things like "no" on the deadnaming, Y/n is closeted and it's a tad annoying to get basically the same comment this many times))

((Warnings: pretty heavy (but accidental) misgendering, sudden onset of dysphoria))

"YOU'RE A SPINELESS, PALE PATHETIC LOT!" y/n shouted, doing a whole 360 around in his chair before turning back to his computer.

"And you haven't got a clue!" the voice crackled through his headphones.

"Somehow I'll make a man out of you!" they both sang before bursting into laughter.

"That is the last time I sing on stream! For real this time," y/n said, scooting back from the desk and kicking his feet on the table gently. He glanced over at the time. Around 20 minutes before he would have to end the stream to ensure that he could be in his room when his parents got home.

"Yeah, sure."

He rolled his eyes. A few days ago He wouldn't have believed it if someone had told him he would be singing, on stream, with Tommyinnit, but here he was. It was exciting and nerve-wracking, but if Tommy made a joke on it he would be sure to tell him it was underwhelming at best.

He was considering how to respond to him with his own witty remark before his eyes settled on the chat.

"Her voice is so pretty!"

"Yes! Queen!"

"You say that every time"

He felt his stomach sink and quickly looked away and back to the game they were playing.

"What is wrong with me," he muttered under his breath. Even just reading her  when it was in reference to him just felt so... wrong.

"Huh? o/n? Did you say something?" Tommy asked.

"No," He tried to ignore the way that he became conscious of his voice, shifting in his seat.

There was a pause on the other end.

"Are you ok, man?"

And that felt wonderful. Until Tommy immediately corrected himself that is.

"Ah, sorry. You ok, woman?" Y/n knew that Tommy was trying to lighten the mood, but god did that make his heart sink. He felt almost nauseous.

"Yeah but I have to go, my parents will be home any minute," He lied.

He hung up almost immediately after they said their goodbyes, raiding Tommy with his less than 100 viewers.

He sighed and let his head fall onto the desk with a thump. He hated this.

"Fuuuuuck," He breathed, stretching it out.

He sat back up, gathering his things to go to his room. He didn't know what he would do next. He wanted to talk to someone, sure, but didn't feel like hearing his own voice. It was weird how fast one's mood could change at what might be to others such a small thing.

He fell back onto his bed, sitting with his leg bouncing. More than anything he just wanted to distract himself and not think about it, but he just couldn't.

He opened his laptop before typing rapidly.

How to feel better about-

He heard the front door creaking open and panicked, closing every tab open and deleting his history. They were back early. He jumped up, glancing around to make sure everything was clean enough before taking his laptop to his desk and opening his school sites, along with the homework he'd half done in the early hours of the morning before sleeping so he could pretend he made progress while his parents were gone. They didn't know that he streamed and he intended to keep it that way.

There was a knock at his door before it opened.

"How's your work going?"

Y/n's mom walked in and over, glancing at the computer and smiling at the mostly written essay.

"I'm just editing now," He mumbled, hoping to keep the interaction short.

"Alright, I'll let you work," she said before walking to the door. "I'm proud of you d/n, my sweet little baby girl," she smiled and shut the door behind her.

"Fuck," He whispered.

He didn't know how much of this he could deal with, but it wasn't like he had much of a choice.