some kind of madness is swallowing me whole

part 5

                                                                                          Bella's POV

I never minded the rain. I even remember always wanting to play or dance in it when I was a child. For the amount of time I've been in Forks, one day was rain-free. Although I can't dance or play in it now it does bring a sense of comfort with it knowing I once would've played in it. It's nice to get this refreshing restart with all of the rain I wish it would let up. As a vampire, being in the sun in public is a good way for people to figure you out. I like to take sunny days, travel into the forests, and bask in the sun. I can't quite feel anything but I remember what it felt like and the relaxation it brought.

Bella rose from the chair she was sitting in gazing at the rain and looked at the clock on the oven that was in the kitchen, not by her choice. It was 7 am but she couldn't guess that by looking outside. It was still early to start the trip to Port Angeles so she decided to walk into the woods around her house.

She wasn't on the hunt, her hunger was satisfied last night by an unsuspecting deer. For the first time, in what feels like her whole time as a vampire, she didn't run. It felt off like driving in a town after driving on the highway. She never took the time to just be.

There were points where the time went super-fast, she wouldn't believe hours could pass so fast. Doing one thing after another seemed to pass time faster as it does, but Bella never lived a life where she needed to keep busy to pass time. Some days, unbelievably, time was the thing that got away from her. On days, like today, she was thankful that time seemed to stand still in the forest where she can realize the life around her.

She walked further into the woods, not straying far from the path so she wouldn't get lost. Once she reached a tree that looked good enough to climb, by the low branches provided, she climbed. Not the most normal thing for her to do but she wasn't the best at deciding what was normal these days. The leaves on the trees provided shelter from the pouring rain.

I never noticed simple things like trees shielding rain from the people below. I never took the time to, quite simply put it, care before. It's something so simple—trees, leaves, and rain—but taking note of it could have me here forever. Even this simple act in nature I never cared about as a human, from what I can recall.

Bella knew she had to stop, slow down, and notice everything happening. It would be one of the many adjustments she needed to make while pretending to be human.

She could hear the rain let up from beyond the trees so she decided she took enough time, for now. She walked back to her house, grabbed everything she needed for her trip, and hopped into her car.

9:07 am, the clock on her dashboard read. I spent more time in the woods than I realized.

Bella always took it upon herself to keep up with the technology as it advanced. She figured it wouldn't hurt to know how everything worked. She didn't, however, like to flaunt having these technological items. She had a reliable smartphone and a newer model car. She never needed much else. Her car gets her where she needs to go and her phone helps navigate it once she's there. So, she plugged her phone into the car, typed Port Angeles into the maps app on her phone, and was on her way.

Driving was one of the harder things to control in her new lifestyle. She found it easier to hit the gas pedal and not worry about the speed because no one could catch her anyway. When she hit the highway and the speed limit was 85 mph she was relieved that she could go fast for at least an hour. Although, 85 mph wasn't nearly as fast as she liked it was much better than the 25 mph of Forks. Cruise Control was her best friend any time she was in the car.