some kind of madness is swallowing me whole

part 12

                                                                                       Bella POV!!!!

"Wow," Bella whispered at the same time as Edward.

Though Bella didn't know the song playing through the speakers, the lyrics spoke to her almost directly (When the Party's Over by Billie Eilish).

Of course, I liked the kiss. I don't want to think about how it complicates things. It was like breathing, something that came naturally. Now that I have kissed him, I don't know what it's like not kissing him. I know what forever means now even if it is complicated.

Bella didn't know what to say to him. She ran, faster than a human but slower than a vampire, to her room. She needed at least a minute to compose herself before she confronted anything.

How did I let anything get this far? It wasn't that she let someone have feelings for her; it was that she wasn't expecting it to happen, let alone reciprocating the feelings.

She counted every second that passed while the remains of the people left at the party decided to go home. 432 seconds had passed when someone knocked on the door.

"Bella?" Angela asked from the other side of the door. "We were all about to head out and wanted to know if you needed help cleaning up."

Bella didn't have the heart to see Edward yet but she knew she needed to tell someone about what happened. Crap, no. Edward will read her mind anyway. Ugh, I hate that power there is absolutely no privacy whatsoever.

"No, thank you, Angela. I can handle everything," Bella said in a monotone. She didn't want to shut her new friends out but she had no choice with Edward's invasive power. She heard Angela walk back down the steps and started counting the seconds again.

It was hard to tell if Edward was still hanging around her house because he could move ever so silently. 286 seconds after Angela checked in on Bella, she decided to go across the hall and look out the window to see if she could see Edward.

The room across the hall was the master bedroom of the house. Bella knew that if she ever had people over she had to make sure people thought the master bedroom was used by her mother so she left it unoccupied but furnished. The window overlooked the front yard and she would be able to look down at all of the furniture on the front lawn.

Although when she got to the window, she didn't see any furniture at all. She knew that her group didn't move it because they would've made too much noise for Bella to ignore. She wanted to go investigate but the thought of confronting Edward froze her in her tracks. She stayed in that room for a while before deciding to lay on the bed and count the seconds again.

She lost count of the seconds after 10,000 but she knew that Edward couldn't have possibly stayed at her house for 3 hours doing nothing. She went to investigate her furniture.

She didn't have to go far because she could see all the furniture, even the couch and speaker the Cullens let her borrow, spread across her first floor. On the kitchen table was a note from Edward.

Dearest Bella,

I want to apologize for the trouble I have caused by kissing you tonight. I would like to make a formal apology but I know that you might not be ready to see me yet. First of all, I definitely should have asked you. Secondly, I should not have put you in a position where you would have felt the need to run away from me. Again I apologize for kissing you. It was impulsive and stupid of me to think that it was what you wanted.

I have brought in all of the furniture because there is rain in the forecast tonight and I wouldn't want it to be ruined. My family had left me without a car so I hope you don't mind my things staying the night here, too. I will be back around 8 in the morning to pick everything up. Most importantly I would like to see you and talk things over but I understand if that is too early for you.