some kind of madness is swallowing me whole

part 13

Bella knew that if she didn't find something to eat things would get rough and it would be harder for her to return to Forks. She ran deeper into the forest to find something to eat. What she was hunting for didn't bother her as much as it might have in the past. She had one priority: drink. The only thing that would get in her way would be the ache she began to feel for human blood.

Focus on the animals.

As if on cue, she heard a bustle not too far away, indicating something was close. She ran and seconds later she was chowing down on a couple of deer.

When she was fully satisfied, she found herself aimlessly wandering around Northern California. She made it to a little town that resembled Forks but was much bigger and was slightly warmer.

While traveling through Crescent City looking for a place she could stay if she needed to, her mind began to think about all of the people left in Forks who could be attacked by one or more rabid vampires.

I can't just run away from this and be okay with the fact that everyone I care about could die. I don't think I would be okay if any of them died and I could've done something to stop it. I have to do something about this.

She spent approximately 30 minutes in Crescent City, the quickest she ever spent in one place even in her nomad days, excluding the places she was passing through.

On her way back she couldn't stop thinking about the dumb things her human friends would do to get themselves in danger. Easily for Mike, he'd be the first one to go. Death by falling in love with a vampire. Angela would be the last because she would outsmart the vampires into making them think she was one of them. Leaving Eric, Jessica, Lauren, and Tyler tied in the middle. Each of their outcomes differed depending on the slight decisions they make.

The thought of losing her friends made her run more significant than before. She passed through Oregon in 16 minutes, whereas on the opposite trip it took about 27 minutes. She hadn't realized she even entered Oregon at that point but she was pretty good at deliberating.

Once she got back to Forks, she checked on everyone at their houses. When Bella reached Mike's house and didn't hear his familiar voice anywhere in the area there was a slight twinge in her stomach. She then remembered that he worked at his father's hardware store sometimes and she made her way there. When she reached everyone else's houses she relaxed, knowing everyone was fine.

She dreaded going back to her house for fear Edward would be waiting for her there. When she got there he wasn't there, though.

She had a few things she wanted to think about, so she ran into her house, got her journal, and brought it up to the tree where she knew every thought she ever had was safe. A couple of hours later, she regretted that decision because Edward plopped himself down on that same branch they both shared many times before.

"I knew I could find you up here," he said. He couldn't read Bella's thoughts but he knew she wanted to be alone. He knew that he needed to explain everything. "Before you leave, let me say something."

Bella didn't say anything to him. She didn't want to talk to someone who so easily thought she would throw away all of the progress she had made.

"I did initially think that you may have gone back to your old ways. It was a stupid thing to think but I know that you wouldn't do that," he started. Bella didn't say anything, again. "You know that I trust your progress, truly I do. I don't know why that was my first thought but I sincerely apologize."

I guess I should say something to him. It was terrible for him to assume that I had regressed to the point I would attack the whole town.

Bella still didn't say anything. She just sat in the tree writing in her journal. Edward didn't leave her side. They stayed there until the sun rose and it was time to go to school. Edward gave her privacy when she went into her house to change her clothes but was right next to her when she was finished. While the day passed at school, Bella wanted so desperately to take the day to ignore Edward but he was always there. Half of Bella thought he was there waiting for her to break and attack the whole town, but the other half knew he was just waiting on her to say something to him. Everyone at school assumed that their relationship escalated since homecoming, unaware of the impending threat that they face. When Edward sat with Bella at lunch no one questioned it, out loud.