Broken - Payton Moormeier

11

I wake up to Toms voice on the outside of my door, he tells me the I have five minutes left to get breakfast. I tell him to get me some toast and he brings it to my room. I watch Netflix while I eat and get ready for the day, I stay in my room most of the morning. Sam comes and get me from my room because I have to take part in the group meditation for some strange reason. Once that is over it's lunch, me and Sam get there first and finish first.

"What are you doing today" I ask Payton once he's answered my call

"Nothing like always why" Payton asks

"Because I was going to come see you unless you had another visitor or some sort of appointment" I say

"Oh ok, when will you be here" he asks

"I have no clue, within a couple of hours probably" I say

"Ok I'll see you then I guess" Payton says before hanging up

I go to my room and listen to music while tidying my room because some how it's become messy. Then I colour for a while before Sam come in to complain about something. I listen to him but don't pay too much attention and give him some advice. He leaves with one of the workers because some is here to see him. I go tell Tome that I'm going for a walk and I'll be back in a bit. I go to the cafeteria, I get a monster and a cookie like always then head to Payton's ward.

"I got you a-" I start before noticing the girl in the room "Ivy"

"What are you doing here" Ivy asks

"I'm back at the psych ward" I say

"How do you know each other" Payton asks

"It doesn't matter I'll come back later" I say before giving him his cookie and going to leave

"No I was about to leave you should stay" Ivy say before leaving. I sit in the chair and go on my phone

"So how do you know her" I ask Payton breaking the silence

"She's the ex I was going to see when I got in the car crash" Payton say "how do you know her"

"I guess you could say we were a thing at one point. I really liked her and trusted her but turns out she was just experimenting and left me for some guy she was talking to during our 'relationship' or whatever it was" I say

"How long ago was this" Payton questions

"I don't know a year ago maybe why" I ask

"Just wondering" he says "wait so your like...gay" he asks

"No I'm bi, I was unlabelled for a while because I was in denial about being bi and thought I was gay but didn't want to be" I say

"Oh cool, cool, cool, cool, cool" he says like Jake Peralta

"Have you been watching Brooklyn nine nine by any chance" I ask and he nods

We end up watching a couple of episodes and talking about our hospital situations. My review with Julie was yesterday and I have to stay for another two weeks which is just great. I don't even know why I have to stay here, I'm doing good mentally and I take my meds most days. Ok maybe that's why I have to stay, I need to take them everyday to be allowed to leave. I'll get there eventually.

"I got to go" I say looking at my phone

"Why, dinner isn't for another couple hours" Payton say

"How the fuck do you know that, kinda creepy. Omg at you stalking me" I say

"Because you usually leave an hour before dinner or visit a little after it ends" he says

"Ok well I got this group thing on the ward today so talk later" I say getting up

"Bye Ash" Payton says

"Bye hoe" I say as I leave the room

I got to the cafeteria and get two cookies for after dinner. Then I go outside and sit on the bench, I haven't done this in a while. It's pretty relaxing, looking at the sky and watching the world goes on. Makes me appreciate the fact that I'm still here even though some days I I don't want to me. After about twenty minutes someone sits next to me.

"What are you doing back here" I ask as Ivy sits next to me

"I came to talk to Payton" Ivy says

"You guys getting back together" I ask

"No our relationship has been bad for months" she says

"Was Payton the one you were talking to" I ask

"Yeah" she says and it goes silent "I'm sorry for messing you about. I didn't want to, I just didn't know what I wanted"

"It's fine I've been there but you could have told me you didn't know. I guess it hurt but I'm me so I ignored my emotions" I say

We talk for a little longer before she goes to see Payton and I go back to the ward. I get my airpods and listen to music while colouring in my room. Tom comes to get me when dinner is ready, I finish what I'm doing and go to the hall. I have some chicken nuggets and chips, I find Sam and sit next to him.

"How's Payton" Sam asks

"Good" I say and go on my phone while I eat

"That's it just good, what happened. Normally you talk for like twenty minutes on something you guys were talking about" he says

"Ivy was there, turns out she's the ex he was going to see when he got in a car crash and he's the one she was talking to" I say

"Oh that's what's wrong, I thought you got over it easy" he says

"I did because I shut out my emotions but seeing her today made me remember how happy I was. I opened up to her and told her everything and she just got up and left one day like it was nothing, I don't understand how people can do that" I say

"Well she missed out on something great, it was unfair that she used you to experiment and not tell you" he says

"I know like who does that, if she had told me I wouldn't have opened up so much and felt like I could trust her until I knew what she wanted" I say

I complain about Ivy all throughout dinner and Sam take our plates back. We go to my room and listen to music while I complain some more, I give him one of the cookies I bought earlier.

A/n: you ever feel empty like something is missing it you don't know what