Far From Perfect || Tronnor

7: Fix You

A/N

there is a video on Kian's channel that is an anti-bullying video (I've linked the video to this chapter) that I think ties in extremely well with this chapter so if you want, you could watch it!

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Bullying hurts emotionally and physically. After it stops hurting, scars are left to remind you of the hurt you experienced. It's those scars that continually remind you that no matter how good you are, those people are always going to think that lowly of you. Sure, they may apologize later, but it doesn't change the fact that that was once was they believed.

In school, you learn about bullying. You learn that it is rude and wrong. But you are never told why. And that is because there is no way to put the aftermath of bullying into words. You can say it hurts, but it often doesn't. You can tell them that it makes you feel less of yourself, but the things they say can't do that to you. Only believing what they say can make you hate yourself. But only Lord knows how hard it is to not believe them.

What always helped me to ignore the bullies, was my friends. Sometimes knowing that at least one person likes you can change the way you see yourself. It doesn't take the pain away, but it adds bliss that can help mask it. I think that when someone believes in you, it can help you believe in yourself.

That is exactly why I approached this boy. I hated meeting new people, but if it meant that I could help him realize that at least one person cares, than I was gonna put my comfort away for awhile, stop being a selfish bitch, and help him.

I stopped in front of him. Or behind him as his face was buried in his locker. This close to him, I could definitely hear him crying. It didn't seem so distant, but rather very vivid. Everytime he sniffed, a piece of my heart went out to him. I wanted so badly to wrap him up in my arms like my mom did to me last night. But I knew I couldn't do that. I was a complete stranger. I had respect for this kid. Therefore, it would've been invasive if I had touched him. I know in all those cliche tales, that is usually what ends up happening, but this was life. Hell, for all I know, this kid could be exactly like me and dreading human interaction. Then my touch definitely would've affected him negatively.

"Hey," I said. I figured I wasn't going to be like those people who went up and said, "Are you okay?" I hate it when people say that, because I am obviously not okay if I am crying. And then you tell them that you're not, and they're just like, "Oh, what's wrong?" In that kiddy voice. They obviously don't give two shits about why you're sad, they just want you happy. And often, talking about it doesn't make one happy.

So a simple "Hey" was definitely the smart route.

He whipped his eyes with the bottom of his shirt sleeve. He pulled out his school bag, and grabbed a snapback from his locker. Placing the hat on his head, he looked up at me with an obviously fake smile. I dismissed it though, because I understood why he wanted to come across as a strong individual. Specifically to the male gender, society shames on vulnerability. They want everyone to be happy and strong. That was most definitely not the case here.

"Hey," he replied and his voice cracked half way through saying it. Anger filled me at the mere thought of the kids who did this to him. I hated that whatever they did effected him this way. I gave him a half smile and he mirrored it.

"Do you want to hang out for a bit?" I asked. I tried to be confident because someone had to be in this situation. "I mean, I know you have class and all, but maybe you would like to go out for lunch or something? Or if you want, we could skip...?" I was about to say 'you could skip' but I caught myself. I didn't want to make him feel like he was the one holding us back. He should feel like we were making the same sacrifices.