Far From Perfect || Tronnor

11: He Needs Me

I pulled into his driveway once I reached his house. It was less than ten minutes away, and on the same side of town as my neighborhood was. So many different thoughts about the possibilities that could've happened were rapidly running through my mind, making me dizzy. They quickly ended when I saw Connor on the curb of his driveway, suitcase underneath him. His head was in his hands and after hearing me pull in, he looked up at me and gave me a sad smile. I took one hand off the steering wheel and waved at him to come over. After scrolling my window down, I stuck my head out the window and said, "Come on, get in."

He looked at me for a couple of seconds. Not going to lie, he looked completely lost, almost like he had no clue who I was and what I was doing on his property. I frowned at this, but he eventually got up and walked over. I got out and told him to sit down in the passenger's seat, taking his suitcase from him. I opened the back of my car and shoved it in. Only after I got back in and backed out of his driveway, did I attempt to start conversation with him.

"Where to?" It was a simple question really. I didn't ask why he was in the condition he was in, or what happened. Literally, I said nothing triggering, but that seemed not to matter for him. Apparently, the mere thought of me talking to him was too much for him. He instantly started to cry. It was soft sobbing at first, but gradually got more and more viscous. I did not know this Connor. I knew happy, goofy, and annoying, and obnoxious Connor, but I didn't know who the person that was sitting in my car seat was.

He shrugged his shoulders in response, and I knew it was not something I should push. Instead, I sighed and continued driving through the random streets of the residential area. I had no clue where we were headed, but Connor didn't seem to mind.

After he started to regain control of himself, I spoke up. "It is really cold out today. How long where you out there?" I started, opening up the subject for conversation.

He looked at me with his sad eyes and scared expression, and I glanced away from the road for a couple of seconds to meet my gaze with his. This time, he answered me saying, "About fifteen minutes." I wasn't used to his usually bubbly voice cracking. I didn't think I ever would've had to hear it crack, nor did I think that I was ever going to get used to it.

We drove in silence for fifteen minutes until we were out of the residential area. It had taken a while to get out of the maze of houses, but despite the circumstances, I was proud of myself for making it out of it. The radio was playing lightly in the background, and I resorted to breaking to silence with some humming. Snow was falling on my window shield, and due to the darkness of the night, the snow caused the illusion that we were going into warp speed.

Eventually, I made it to a gravel road just outside of the town. I pulled over and turned on my blinker lights. I looked over at Connor and, even though it was hard to see him in the dark, I could tell he was broken. And I knew for certain that he expected me to be the glue to fix him. That was usually all I was to people. I was often just the backbone in the relationship. To be honest, I was sick of it. I was absolutely sick of being there for people, but not being returned the favor. Where was my backbone, my superman, my Prince Charming?

Despite my hate of being the life saver for all but myself, I was willing enough to do it again. I knew that Connor needed me. And I had to put aside my differences, and just be there for him.

Surprisingly, he was the one to talk first. He turned down the radio and looked at me before saying, "How do you do it, Troye? How?" He was practically begging for the answer, and I wanted to help him, I really did, but I had no clue what he was talking about. He saw my confused expression, and through tears that were about to spill over, he continued, "How the fucking hell do you do it?!" He was screaming at me now, leaving me deadly confused.