Far From Perfect || Tronnor

21: Open Book

Note: instead of having this chapter focus on the events Troye has recently covering; there will be a lot of back-story. I am only putting this note at the top of the chapter because some people have a harder time following such things.

_-*-_-*-_

To most people, I believe I was seen as someone who was very honest. I always seemed like I never had any secrets, but in truth, I was a thick wall of them. Layers and layers of white lies and untold stories consumed me every day, but I did my best to look like it didn't bother me. You guys know some of them, but many are still locked inside of me.

When I was five, I was playing in a sand pit at the local park. My parents were sitting on the old red bench less than twenty meters away. They were smiling and laughing together, but not once did they glance away from me. My parents have always been a tad on the over-productive side, but I was glad they were looking out for me.

As I was digging a big hole in the sand and filling it up over and over again—funny how relentless the things kids do are—when another kid my age came up. She started helping me with my task without even bothering to introduce herself. "I'm Troye," I said. I still had my little kid lisp, which only added to the corniness of the entire situation. "What are you called?" I asked her.

She told me her name (it'd be best if I don't call her by her real name, so let's just call her Barbra) and we shook hands like we had seen our parents always do when they met someone.

It was that day that I met one of my best friends.

We would meet at the park every Saturday morning with our parents and we'd get to play in the sand pit and push each other on the swings. Swings were fun, but once you think of how unproductive they are, the thrill of it kind of gets ruined for you. You are constantly pushing yourself to go higher and higher so that someday you might be able to make it all the way around, but you are never really going anywhere. Gravity will always take its toll and pulls you back to the ground again.

Barbra and I's relationship was kind of like that. It was fun and thrilling until you realized how little it mattered. But the funniest thing is that although it might've been pointless relationship, it was the world for us.

Barbra and I didn't attend the same Kindergarten, but when we were six, we got enrolled in the same grade one class. We would sit together in every day and go over to each other's houses after school.

That was around the same time I met Zoe. To be honest, Zoe and I didn't click right from the start. Barbra ensured that I'd never get close enough to Zoe for that to happen.

Eventually after getting into second grade, Zoe and Barb finally threw away all the shade. The three of us were quite close for a while, but life happened.

One we reached the higher elementary grades, Zoe and I were hanging around together. At that time, we were all a little curious as to why older kids would. All the kids in my class were getting all of these "crushes" on the other kids. Now that I think about it, that probably wasn't them actually feeling that way about someone, but rather them feeling the pressure that society has on children.

Anyways, Zoe and I were looking at the two "hot" guys of the class. They were basically the best-friends who had super rich parents. Zoe looked at me and said, "I like that guy." She was pointing to the one on the left, who was a brunette.

I shrugged and said, "I think the one on the right is cuter." The amount of gay things I had said before I even knew what sexuality meant was unreal.

I said that right as Barbra came down to sit by us. "Ew, Troye! You can't say that about another guy!" I heard her say. I looked at her with confusion. Back then, I didn't fully understand how offensive what she said was, so I just believed her.