Far From Perfect || Tronnor

12: Nutella and Tumblr

I didn't stay there the whole night.

After Connor's breathing settled, it was obvious that he was asleep. I sighed against his hair, feeling his cold skin. I really wanted to help warm him, but I couldn't think of anything, other than to hold him tighter. So I did, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. However, no matter how much I liked holding him like that, I couldn't seem to shut the voice in my head up.

All I could think about was the person that I was holding in my arms.

I probably stayed there for an hour after he had fallen asleep. As much as I wanted to fall asleep there, I had enough respect for Connor not to. While my brain was keeping me up with thoughts about him, I finally decided to get up and get a drink. Carefully, I untangled our limbs, trying my best not to wake him. Once that was achieved, I had to find a way to get over the mattress without making too much noise. Considering air mattresses are not the quietest thing, I barely managed to accomplish even that. I eventually got there, feeling the door for the handle. It was pitch black in my room so I couldn't make out anything more than silhouettes. That's why when I made it to the hallway and turned around to close the door, I couldn't see Connor. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to have woken up so I could just see the reflection of his eyes to alert me that he was actually still there. Did I want him to tell me to come back like they do movies, or was I just daddying him?

Once I was out in the dark hallway, I pulled out my phone from the pocket of my pj's. Unlocking it, I hissed at the bright light. One of my least favorite things about late nights and phone screens was the way it bore into my eyes. I know that sounds a tad melodramatic, but I am sure there is someone else out there that can relate.

After I managed to see clearly, I turned the flashlight app on so I could see without running into things or the dog. Jagga always slept in the hallway, as if she was protecting us from the dangers outside of our rooms. Despite my hatred for her, I found it almost cute.

I made it to the kitchen within five minutes. Quickly, I grabbed a glass and filled it with water. I set it down on the island counter, and turned back around to get the jar of Nutella and a spoon. After all, nothing made me happier than Nutella.

After sitting down at the island, I twisted the new jar open and opened the Tumblr app on my phone. There was some cute gifs about Harry and some more rants about equality but nothing really too exciting going on. So I put my phone down just stared at the time that was showing on our oven. It was two in the morning, causing me to sigh in frustration. I was tired, I'll say that much, but I couldn't do anything. My brain was scattered and the fact that I couldn't sit still was infuriating me.

Connor was gay. His parents had kicked him out. He decided to come to me. Why? Either because his friends are douches—which I wouldn't have doubted—or he didn't want them to find out. All this confused me even though it was a very easy concept to get at. I sighed putting my head in my hands.

Before my thoughts could venture anywhere else, I heard a soft cough behind me, alerting me of a person's presence. I turned around and met eyes with my older brother. "You know, I often wonder how you don't have diabetes yet with the amount of that shit you have eaten," Steele laughed pointing to the jar, causing a smile to appear on my face. Steele was much like me in the way that he doesn't like to straight up ask what the other person is dealing with. He much rather just make light of every deep situation.

He pulled out the stool beside me and sat down next to me. Before speaking again, he looked down at his hands that were folded on the counter in front of him. "Can't sleep?" He asked. I looked at him and nodded. He kept my gaze before pulling me into a tight hug. I sighed against his chest, comforted by his embrace. It wasn't often that I had an older sibling to take care of. Without him present in our home, I always had to be that sibling. "How's Connor?" He asked, cutting to the chase.