Far From Perfect || Tronnor

17: Would You Rather

I was fucked. All I would do was complain, complain, and complain. I never was confident enough to provide a solution to every bloody problem I was faced with. To be frank, I had always pictured life to be hell in the beginning, and I thought it would eventually get better. And it definitely did, but only after I woke up and realized that I needed to get off my lazy ass and do something about my problems. They do go away, but only if you work hard and stay determined and stand up for yourself. There won't be a person who suddenly dries your tears and makes life perfect. The only person who is capable of doing that is you. Other people will help, guide, and teach you how to do it, but they will never fully be able to do it for you because they aren't you. I didn't understand that, which was literally the reason I was fucked.

At this point in the conversation, Connor was really starting to get a little pissed about my negative attitude. "With that attitude you really are fucked," He said with a heavy amount of sass. This time, Connor didn't let silence settle. "Does this kind of stuff happen to you often?"

I shrugged. "It happens whenever Caspar wants it to," I responded. I tried my best sound like it didn't matter, because it really shouldn't. But I was just being stubborn and trying to not have a personal talk with Connor. I found it really difficult to open up with people in general, and I really didn't want to seem vulnerable to someone I wanted to impress. I wish I had realized it was best to just tell him, without putting up a fight.

"It happens a lot doesn't?" Connor shuffled over so that his back was no longer on the side of the couch, but so that he was facing me. I gave him another shrug. "Troye, we really need to talk about this. What happened to you isn't an essential thing in life. You shouldn't be putting up with this." He put his hand on my knee, giving it a light squeeze.

"What do you propose we do about it, then?"

"We'll figure it out," He said, giving me a smile that promised something. "He deserves shit."

I nodded, too tired to give a better response. I took those seconds of silence to look down into Connor's eyes. Now really wasn't the time to have a romantic eye exchanging, so it ended rather quickly by Connor breaking the silence.

"You know, Troye? I'll always be there for you. You're helping me get through a hard time. It's the least I can do to return such an action." He looked up at me and smiled, and my face was just numb enough that I could return the smile without it hurting too badly.

His words echoed through my head. I'll always be there for you. Connor was determined to help teach me how to better myself and how to deal with the shit I would always have had to go through. That one thought gave me enough comfort to keep my head up for a very long time.I fell back on the bed, sighing.

We sat like that-my back on the bed, feet hanging off, and Connor holding my knee-until the other three came back. I would've tried to place how long it took, but to be frank, I lost track of the time quite quickly.

"So we've been thinking..." Zoe started, but trailed off seeing our stressed-out looking position. She glanced at Tyler as if to ask him if he thought it was okay to continue on. I saw Tyler give her a nod of his head, so she continued, "Want to play 'Would You Rather'? I mean, it'd help us get to know each other more without the risk of the stupid dares in 'Truth or Dare?'"

So that is basically how our group of seventeen year-olds ended up playing a game of Would You Rather.

There were times to be sad, hurt, destroyed, and defected. But during those times, I think one can experience the most fun, because when you are feeling negatively, exciting things seem that much more thrilling.

After about round two, it was Tyler's turn again. "Alfie," Tyler said, turning to the big boy. "Would you rather... Fuck in a car or in a public washroom?" I heard Zoe squeal in disgust, earning a laugh from me and Connor.