Chapter 20

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There was a nervous bubbling in my chest the next day as I called Tim; I absently squeezed Sam's hand as he watched SportsCenter. He didn't seem to think anything of it, but still kissed me on the temple in a way that always filled me with warmth.

"I'll go into the other room so I don't bother you," I whispered as I got up.

"Thanks," he leaned forward and mumbled something argumentative about the sports analyst's assessment of the Patriots.

"She's alive!" Tim answered the phone.

"Hey, Timmy!" I didn't realize how much I missed him until the tears pooled in my eyes at the sound of his voice. "I missed you!" I immediately sputtered.

"Aw, Lil," he must have heard the catch in my throat but quickly recovered from the tender moment. "To know me is to love me." He was always good at relieving tension, even delicate tension.

"How are you?" I continued.

"Great, just finished about a half-dozen shortbread cookies."

"Ugh, I'm so jealous. I talked to Mary yesterday, and she said they'd just come out of the oven. I swear I could smell them through the phone."

"Wouldn't be surprised. Mary's baking works in mysterious ways."

"So, are you there, at Mary's?" I slid up to the counter in the kitchen. Sam caught my eye from the living room and gave me a wink.

"No, I'm at Billy's place," Tim awkwardly said Billy's name, like one of us may burst into flames once it was uttered.

"Oh, did he find a place he liked?" I tried to sound casual, but it came out false.

"Yeah, it's an old farmhouse; he's updating it himself when he's around. So right now, it's a big drafty pit," Tim raised his voice for the last part.

In the background, I heard Billy call out, "I heard that."

The sound of Billy's voice caused my heart to pound in my ears, causing me to miss whatever Tim said next. I just spat out, "oh, I don't mean to bother you if you're busy."

"Nope, not busy at all. Billy is just fixating on a riff. It was great the first twenty times, but now it's just plain annoying." Tim was still raising his voice to ensure that Billy could hear each of his complaints.

"Who is that? Is that Tess? That woman deserves better," Billy shot.

"No, it's not Tess." Tim's voice filled with regret from his teasing; he hadn't considered the outcome of calling attention to the call.

"Who is it?" Billy's voice was closer now.

"It's a friend you don't know." Tim was a terrible liar.

"You don't know anyone I don't know," Billy protested as close as if he were actually on the phone and suddenly, there was clattering while they wrestled. Once the struggle subsided, a weak "oh" came through the phone. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your call." Billy had clearly won the wrestling match and had seen my name on the phone.

"Hey, sorry about that." Tim was back on the line, panting as he tried to catch his breath.

"Yeah, that wasn't awkward at all," joking was my only path.

"Wait until I get off the phone with you," Tim complained.

"Well, there's only one answer; we can never hang up. We'll live our lives one-handed while we maintain this call," I teased.

"That'd be great, but you have to mute in the bathroom and the bedroom. I don't want to get to know you that well. I mean, I feel like I already heard enough of the bedroom antics." He was lost in his whirling scheme. "Man, some nights, those walls could shout."

"Tim!" I finally protested as my face burned with a flush, and my eyes flickered to Sam. It was unreasonable to think that Sam could've heard and even more ridiculous to believe that I was guilty of anything aside from having a previous relationship, but facts rarely deter emotions.

"Too far," he agreed. "Tess keeps telling me to work on that. I always go too far."

"How is Tess? I miss her!"

"She misses you! You should call her soon, not today, though. Mary is teaching her to cook."

"Oh, wow."

"Right. I'll marry her on the spot if she picks up half of Mary's skills."

"I recall a ring was purchased," I teased.

"She's special, so I need to find the perfect time," as Tim spoke, there was an onslaught of noise behind him. "Hey, I gotta go." I heard the familiar drumming of a tense Billy driving through the phone. "He's on the drum kit and..."

"Yeah, yeah. I know the drill. Sorry to cause you grief," I winced.

"No, this is his problem. You stay in touch. We're friends, Lil. And maybe at some point..." his words dropped off, but I knew what he was thinking. "I mean, that's the plan, right? That you two will be friends?" There was a hopeful plea in his voice.

"Yeah, of course. But based on the racket, it seems a bit too soon."

"Yeah, I'd have to concur."

"I love you, Timmy," I quickly added before he could hang up.

Tim sighed. "I love you too, Lil. I've missed you." And then he was gone.

I fell to Sam's side on the couch and let my phone slip away from me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders as he continued to watch SportsCenter. My head fell to his chest as the rise and fall of his breath lulled me deeper into my melancholy.

"Hey," Sam's voice was a little surprised when he glanced down at me. He paused the TV while shifting to get a better look at my face. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. It felt wrong, so I immediately corrected myself. "You know how sometimes you don't realize how much you miss someone until you talk to them, and then all this sadness of not having them around floods in?"

Sam paused and inspected me closer. "No, I guess I don't. We're talking about Tim, right?" Concern clouded his usually cheerful face.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot how much I missed him until I talked to him."

Sam relaxed a bit and let me melt back into his side.

"You know, Tim kinda reminds me of you." I let my hand circle around his waist.

"Oh, so he's insanely good-looking and charming?" Sam kissed the top of my head.

"Ah, no; he's constantly trying to be funny and unjustifiably confident," I teased.

"Trying to be funny? Unjustifiably confident?" I got a momentary flash of the jest returning to Sam's face before it plunged into my neck. The tickle of his lips caused laughter to spill out.

"I love you," I giggled.

He paused long enough to add an "I love you too" and then returned to his tickling kisses. 

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