*TW- sexual assault*
you
you're the demon in my nightmares
the shadow in every corner
the villain lurking in the cracks in my shield
to put it literally
you're a monster
by that I mean
i hate you
i want to put you in your own ninth circle
—just like you put me in mine—
and I want to watch you burn
bad enough that sometimes I dream it
dream about the flames ripping your flesh
and watch the red lick at your bones
and yet
when you come—no
force yourself
—into my mind
i can't feel angry
only lost and dirty
and broken
i've tried and tried
but something in me can't be
something in me still
sees you the way I used to—
still sees you as the little boy
that played computer games with me
and ate mangoes in my grandparents backyard
still sees you as the boy
that draped blankets over me
and hugged me and promised
he'd protect me
from all the monsters in the dark
—so instead I get angry at the thought of you
I read a book the other day
where the character reminded me of you
and i almost threw it across the room
I saw a man
with a haircut like yours used to be
and I nearly screamed at him
I heard your nickname
uttered briefly on TV
and nearly put my hand through it
just the thought of you
brings out the worst in me
the violence in me
that has been bubbling to the surface
for the past three years
and all I want
is to scream at you
to rip you to shreds
and break you
the way you did me
but every time
I just crumble
because I don't love you
but I remember when I did
YOU ARE READING
wilting roses
PoetryAnother collection of (bad) poems. *tw: mentions of sexual assault, drug use, drinking, suicidal ideation and self harm* -a collection of poems that document my experiences with my mental health throughout high school. a warning: i had a few undiagn...
