The Tail of a Wolff (UNDER MAJOR EDITING)

38. the best thing that's ever happened to me

TWO MONTHS LATER

A wrecking ball rips through my body as I experience pain like never before. I think of Miley Cyrus naked in her video but curse myself.

This is not the time, Wynter!

The last few hours have been okay, I managed to redirect the pain into something useful, channeling my inner warrior but now... its unbearable.

"Get ready to push Ms Lance" the MALE doctor sits in front of my wide open legs, putting on his gloves. I was not comfortable with him, requesting a female but apparently they said the only female was performing a c-section.

Great.

Someone squeezes my hand and I look at Annabelle. She pats a towel onto my head while rubbing my hand in encouragement. No matter how many times she rubs the towel onto my forehead, sweat accumulates from the humidity in the room, leaving my hair sticking onto me repeatedly.

Everything about this is uncomfortable and feels wrong. Tallis is supposed to be squeezing my hand, making fun of me. A female doctor is supposed to be looking at my vagina right now, regardless of the other nurses in the room. My family should be here now, but they aren't.

The wrecking ball finishes its sway, crashing back into me like it tears effortlessly through a wall. I cry out and squeeze Annabelle's hand, wanting into to all stop. I start to cry "You can do this Wynter"

"Push Ms Lance" the doctor instructs. I do as he says.

"Where's Josh?" I asks when I finish the first push. It felt like nothing happened.

"He doesn't like the sight of blood, he says, and I quote, 'I don't want to see her all bloody and shit... or with her legs open'" I breath out a small laugh but stop when I get another feeling to push.

I do this a few more times until I feel the head stick out, the pain reaching its peak. My body feels like its on fire after running around the mall for 6 hours on a shopping spree. Only much, much worse. The wrecking ball crashes into me, this time I welcome the pain instead of fighting against it, which tires me out even more.

I can't do this anymore.

"Push Ms Lance!" the doctor instructs with more urgency.

"I-I can't" I barely whisper out the words but clearly he has heard this phrase one too many times.

"Yes you can. You need to push or you'll strangle the baby" I hear what he's saying but it's like it goes through me.

"I-I c-cant" I shake my head, tears making their way freely down my face as I shake my head even more.

I go to move my legs but even that motion is difficult than everything else. A nurse goes out the room shouting something along the lines of, "we need an emergency surgery, patient refuses to push!"

I hear banging on the window so I look at commotion on my right. Just before the door closed I managed to hear my least favourite word right now. Charlie and Sam bang on the windowLance shouting and begging me to push but I shake my head "I'm so tired" I try to mouth the words as best as I can.

I look away so that I don't disappoint them furthermore, I turn back and lay to rest when Annabelle starts speaking so fast I nearly loose what she's saying.

"I was also raped! That's why when I saw you laying there, I knew I had to do something - so I stayed with you even when you didn't want me to - I know what it feels like - I had no one for me at the time so I felt obliged to be there for you"

I nearly miss the words because she's speaking so urgently, but I don't.

I hear every. single. one.