His Little Bird

Romancing

Ethan's POV:

Birdie lays in bed staring up at the ceiling, her fingers absentmindedly plucking at the blanket wrapped around her.

Setting my laptop aside, I turn on my side to face her, seeing if I can get her out of whatever it is she is stressing about. A gentle stroke to her belly does the trick and cognition comes back into her eyes.

"You were thinking again..."

A sad smile spreads and she tries her second defense mechanism, "I tend to do that sometimes," she tease lightly, leaning up to peck my lips.

She goes to stroke my chest, distract me again, but I stop her, caressing her hand in mine.

"Will you please tell me what you're thinking about?" Birdie has been driving me crazy the last two days with all this thinking and spacing. No, it wasn't like she was distracted during conversations or unable to function, but I can see it in her face, feel it when she kisses me, sense it when she's tucked up in my arms at night, something isn't right.

"It's really nothing—"

"Do you remember when we promised not to lie to one another... to have no secrets, Birdie?"

Tear filled eyes meet mine and my stomach drops.

What did I do this time?

Was it because I said we couldn't have sex the last two days? I didn't mean to make her wait two days, yesterday I was just so tired from work I just wanted to sleep. She knew the day before I just needed to work and not get distracted. Birdie knows it wasn't personal.

"You know the other day when we went shopping and you stepped out side?" Birdie sniffles and I tense up, knowing it was my absence that allowed something to happen that has up set her.

"What did she say to you, Baby?"

Her eyes drop down to the covers between us as she turns to face me.

"I asked if she had ever planned for me to have a sibling and... and she said she was pregnant when I-I was taken. She miscarried because of me. She didn't say that, but I know it was true.

"I was supposed to have a baby brother. He never lived, never breathed because of me. I-I know I didn't do anything and that I couldn't have prevented anything from happening, but I still feel like it's my fault."

Tears fall freely from her precious eyes.

"It is not your fault. There is nothing, nothing you could have done to prevent your mother's miscarriage. Do you understand?" She nods at my stern words, allowing me to wipe away her tears.

"It's just so sad. He was a baby, just a baby. I always wanted a baby brother and you know what I got, Jessi! I got Weston too and I like him—I like Jessi too, but Weston gives me more chocolate—but I wanted a baby brother and I would have had one."

My heart breaks for my love. I know she loves her life, the one we have together, but I know how desperately she wanted the past that could have been.

"I know, Baby. I'm so sorry. I wish I could just take all that pain away. I really do."

"I hate them... the people who took me. I've never hated anyone, but I hate them," she sobs.

I kiss her head, holding her close as she cries into me.

"I hate them too, enough for the both of us. I'm so sorry, Birdie."

————

Birdie skips into the kitchen, her little present in hand.

A pretty little smile is spread across her face, so I know she is up to no good.