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I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about
John b helped you a lot, and one of the things he helped you with was learning how to drive. He knew your driving test was coming up and he knew how determined you were to pass. Every night, while the roads were clear, he'd take you out in the van and just let you drive freely around the island.
"You did good today" he smiled, from the passenger seat next to you.
"Well I learnt from the best" you smirked, looking over at him.
"Why thank you" he replied sassily, flipping back his hair.
"Oh don't flatter yourself" you laughed, as you both climbed out of the van and made your way back into the chateau.
Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house
The chateau was like your second home, you were there 24/7. Sometimes John b would call you over to watch a movie or whenever you meet up with the rest of the pogues to go out on the marsh you'd meet up there before hand.
Sometimes John b would even call you over if he just wanted you or needed you there, whenever he was having a bad day or a bad night he'd ask for you to stay.
Pulling up outside the chateau, you turned off the car and got out.
"Hey bub" the brunette boy said, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist, engulfing you in a hug.
"You okay?" You asked quietly, returning the hug.
"I just need you here" he answered simply. "Thank you for coming"
"I always will" you smiled.
But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around
Everything only went down hill from there. You noticed how you and John b drifted apart, he wouldn't ask you to hang out anymore, you wouldn't receive goodmorning or goodnight texts from him anymore and he never asked you to go out with the friend group when they all went out of the boat.
The night it sunk in that the relationship had come to an end you took yourself to your happy spot.
You say silently, drowning yourself in your own tears, on the beach. The tide was coming in and the only source of light you had was the moon and the starts.
The place you sat was where you had your first date as well as your first kiss, where you fell in love. It was your comfort space, but it was just another reminder of him.
And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about
Sarah Cameron, kook princess.
She was perfect for him, was the tad big smaller than him, her skin was perfect as well as her body and a he was closer to him in age. The age difference was only a year, you being 15 and John b being 16, it never seemed to bother either of you.
She made you feel insecure and think about how if you were like her, maybe it never would've happened.
John b had always claimed to dislike Sarah. You noticed the way he'd look at her or always talk about her but you never thought anything of it because he'd always reassure you that he loved you. You always had your doubts though; whenever he didn't answer the phone you always thought about them together.
And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them
After the break up, the pogues also stopped hanging out with you besides kiara. She's come over from time to time for a catch up or for a pamper night but that also became rare.
"You need to get over him y/n" she spoke softly, laying on your bed next to you.
"I don't think you understand" you said, barely above a whisper. "I loved him"
"I know you did but you've been moping around for months, he's moved on and I think it's time you do" she spoke honestly.
"I'm sorry" you spoke, wiping your tears. The girl beside you had probably heard that same conversation a thousand times over and you could tell she was getting tired of it too,
And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one, oh
No relationship was perfect, it always had its ups and down despite how perfect it may have seemed to anyone else. You argued from time to time but they'd always end it you guys laughing at a stupid joke or how stupid the argument was.
But it didn't bother you, he made you feel like the only girl in the world. You were head over heels for him, it was safe to say you fell. No one else had never treated you so well, but he was different.
And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me
He moved on quickly. You'd see the couple around the island from time to time and they were all over each other. He was never like that with you, it almost made you jealous. He'd never hold you or kiss you in public but with her he would. It was almost like you didn't exist to him anymore.
John b kept a diary that you came across once. You read through his messy writing, little messages about you here and there. He wrote about how in love with you he was and how your relationship was an always thing.
It hurt when you realised that his words were all lies, non of it was true. It never became an always thing.
Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to
The kisses at the red lights were missed. He'd look over at you and admire you before tilting your chin so you were facing him. He'd place a soft kiss on your lips before turning and facing the road again.
Driving home on your own, you passes all the places you had been with him, the houses that weren't finished yet, the beach and the chateau. The journeys became quiet. The loud music was no longer playing and you weren't screaming the lyrics to your favourite songs.
It became hard for you passing those places, knowing that he was taking her to the same places. You eventually took a different route home.
But I still fucking love you, babe
"Why me?" You cried into your knees.
He lived in your mind, the memories of him never left. You could still hear his laugh or even his voice sometimes.
It still hurt to see him with her, it was just another reminder that he was no longer yours.
