johnlock: forgive and forget

18 The hard truth

A/N hi guys, long ish chapter here. Sorry it's taking a while to update, I've been busy with school- one of the few kids who actually have to go in. Hope you enjoy the story! Remember to comment, vote and follow! Love you guys! Xx

Love hurts. Everyone knows it and yet when we get heartbroken we are all surprised. Everyone loves. Everyone forgets. We will all have teen loves, some survive and get to marry the love of their life once they grow up, some simply fall apart. There are a lucky few who will find their soul mate. Others may marry or think they love someone else and never find their one true partner.

John was only now realising how lucky he was. He had had at least met his one true soul mate. If only to spend a little time with him. The short time he had spent of his life with Sherlock had been the most amazing, thrilling time of his entire life. His life had changed so much and he had not even realised it whilst it was happening. But now, looking back, he realised how lucky he was to even have met Sherlock Holmes let alone have been his friend. Or even his boyfriend.

The pain of looking into the man he loved eyes and not seeing the oh so familiar flicker of recognition when their eyes met. The blank stair was almost burning as Sherlock looked at John as if they had not even met before.

Even with the warning that lestrange had given him, The shock was still a difficult one.

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As John ran to see the man that he had missed for so long, Greg's words played over and over again in his head. He refused to believe that there was even a slight chance Sherlock could forget the smallest detail of his life with John.

Bursting open the doors of Sherlock's hospital ward, he quickly saw that Sherlock was on the right side of the ward next the window- the furthest bed away from the door. Typical Sherlock.

Now in no hurry to see Sherlock as he knew he was safe, John slowed his pace so it was more normal to the nurses that had been giving him worried and concerned glances the whole 5 seconds he had been in there.

Even from afar John could tell that Sherlock was either unconscious or in deep sleep. Pulling out a chair- a classic hospital chair that squeaked on the marbleised floor- John took a seat next to the cold metal bed hoping he wouldn't have to wait long for Sherlock to wake from his slumber.

After at least an hour of waiting, John finally saw a flicker in Sherlock's eyelids and felt his heart rate spread up. Looking up at Sherlock to meet his eyes, the eyes he had missed so dearly, he grabbed his hand and spoke the first words he had spoken to Sherlock in so long.
'Sherlock...'
'I'm sorry? Who do you think you are?'

The truth finally sunk in. Sherlock really didn't know who he was. His BOYFRIEND didn't know he was. How the hell was that even possible! He had no brain injury, no sign of any memory loss apart from... well him. John. The one thing he though Sherlock would never forgot. As he looked into Sherlock's eyes he realised what it must feel like to onlookers and strangers to have to look at this outstanding man when that man had no recognition of you and whom you would probably never meet again. How can these people bare it? He was seeing the true Sherlock. The one everyone else saw. The real Sherlock, the one he had learnt to love, the one he had even hoped to marry one day, was long gone. Maybe never to be seen again. Would Sherlock even feel any sense of dajavoo?

To johns surprise, he saw the pupil of his lost lovers eyes dilate, the tiniest amount but it was still there. Probably something unconscious triggering his eyes to respond that way.

John saw red. He knew that if he were to stay in this room, with Sherlock then he was going to do something that he would regret. Standing up of his chair, he ran to door once again ignoring the strange glances. He made the mistake of looking back, if only for a second. What he saw was Sherlock. His face full of confusion and worry. The feeling of not being in control. John knew the feeling. He hated to do this to Sherlock but he knew it was best.

The first place John though of going was to see mycroft. He needed to find out if what had happened could be fixed. If he were to ever see Sherlock's face light up and look lovingly in his direction ever again. He had to know.