Prologue

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Having a broken family is hard. We live in the same roof but in chaos.

I don’t understand why I live.

I don’t know why I’m in this situation.

Should I continue the horrible life?

I thought living is a gift, but why am I suffering?

“Jane why is this house in mess!?” my mother’s voice roaring the house. She has this thick scary voice that can send shiver in your veins.

“Mother, I am sorry I was busy in fighting Ken. He is ruining my works that I needed in school. I need to pass this on time for me to have high grades. I need to make this magnificent. But Ken is giving me trouble, he is ruining my work,” I explained to her but I see that she doesn’t care about it.

School.  School. School. What will get from that place? It is just a waist of time, you can find a work to gain money. Not going to that place where you only give excuses in here.” She replied.

It was nothing for her. She doesn’t care about how I feel. She only wants things for herself. She is selfish. She doesn’t give any value at us. She doesn’t even give attention on us.

How I wish she knew how I feel.

I like being at school. Seeing new faces give me hope in continuing my life. Even how horrible my parents at me, I know they love me in different ways.

I’m going to prove to them. I will let them see what can I achieve. I will show them where I be in the future.

“Mother please, if you only you open your eyes about being at school. You will see the bright side. It is the bridge for my future, our future. Just please understand why am I doing this. This is not just for me, it’s for all of us.”

“Going to school and getting a job is no difference in getting a job today. It’s just a waste of your time. If only you have a job right now we will have something to eat. Papers you’re working is not a food, it’s just trash. What will happened after you pass it to your so called teacher huh? They will just throw it on trash.”

“Mother no, it’s not like that. You see..”

“What will you get from there will be in disposal after you have a job. Look at our neighbors daughter Claire…”

“…being at school give me ease. It helps me in thinking of what the future would be.”

“…she have a great deal on having money. It doesn’t matter what your job will be as long as it will give you money.”

“Mother please let me be,” my eyes is already close to crying but I can’t show it in front of her.

A strong hand touch my face, my mother’s hand. I didn’t expect she would slap me, I was just explaining to her. How can she be this cruel? I’m giving it all to prove to them that being at school makes me happy. How school enlighten me but never they give attention at me.

“You useless child. Get out of my sight. You only give me an head aches. If only you use your brain wisely,” she shouted.

Head in low, with a heavy heart I turn around. There’s no point arguing with her she doesn’t care at all.

I wish someday they’ll know my suffering.

Maybe someday...

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