Akala niya mabuting awatin niya ang kanyang ama, ngunit laking pagkakamali niya tinolak siya nito at sinaktan.
“You do look like her, you always remind me if her. You are a peace of shit. You should not exist. You should die,” masakit man sa tainga ngunit kinakaya parin niya.
Lahat nang salita ng kanyang ama binabaliwala niya. The pain that her mother caused is high for her father to be like this. She know that this is not her father. Alam niya na nalunod lang sa sakit at galit ang kanyang ama. Para sa kanya effort lang para bumalik sa dati ang kanyang ama. She knew that if she stays by the side of her father will be her death pero nananaig parin ang pagmamahal niya rito.
“Dad please, tama na,” she cried but her father seems like a deaf. Kada hampas ng sinturon ng kanyang ama para siyang nahihimatay.
“Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit niya ako iniwan,” her father shouted in anger.
“Dad I don’t know what your talking about. Mom loves me, loves us both. Dad masakit tama na po,” water falls of tears are drown in her face. “I don’t even know why she left me, us.”
She is already lying on the floor whimpering in pain. Both hands supporting her body not to tumble.
“You useless child, you should die,” wala paring kapagudan sa pag hampas ng kanyang ama.
Masakit na but she accepted it all. For her, mas nakakabuti na sa kanya nilalabas ang poot at galit ng kanyang ama kaysa mag lasing ito.
“Dad please stop this,” she beg her father. Tears are still flowing on her face.
Many words that came out from her father’s mouth but she is in too much pain to hear every single words. She just stay right there without giving a fight, just crying every pain.
She don’t know how many seconds, minutes, hours, has she been on that place, on that situation. She just notice that the whipping has stopped and found her father on the floor laying drunk. It’s hard for her to move her body but she still did. She hates how her father’s looks. She hates the view she has seeing. Ngayon lamang niya nahalata na habang hinahampas siya ng kanyang ama ay umiinom naman ito.
Even in her state she still manage to move and clean the clutter area.
Broken glass are everywhere. Mula sa mesa,sa sahig, sa lababo, lahat ng sulok na nakikita niyang may mga basag na gamit nililinis niya.
This was not the life she is hoping for. She is still weak to fight this happenings. She vacuum the place to be sure that there will be no more broken glasses everywhere. Pagkatapos pumunta siya sa kanyang kwartu para kumuha ng basahan para linisan ang kanyang ama.
She has to much love for her father, kahit na sinasaktan siya nito. Para sa kanya darating din ang araw na bumalik sa dati ang kanyang ama.
As she look at her father, tears are falling down. Masakit para sa kanya na nakikitang parang wala sa sarili ang kanyang ama.
“Dad please move on, and let’s make a new memories together,” she hoped that one day her father would realize that her mother disappearance is not the end of the world. “I am here Dad. Just here by your side hoping for you to come back.”
“I know it’s hard for you to be left by your love but I am still here Dad, your daughter that loves you,” dahan-dahan niyang pinupunasan ito. Mula sa mukha, sa braso, nilinisan niya ang kanyang ama.
Kahit ano pang salita ang lumabas sa bibig niya alam niyang hindi siya maririnig ng kanyang ama. Kahit pa gising ito at naririnig siya, hindi ito makikinig sa kanya at nagbibingibingian. Pagkatapos niya itong linisan bumalik siya sa kanyang kwartu upang linisan ang kanyang sarili. Hindi pa niya kayang buhatin ang kanyang ama kaya iniwan lang niya itong nakahandusay sa sahig.
Habang naglalaglagan ang tubig sa kanyang katawan napapaigik siya sa sakit. Pulang-pula ang kanyang likoran pero wala sa sakit nang kanyang katawan ang kanyang iniisip.
“Should he be happy if I’m the one who’s gone instead of my mother?” she started to think negative about her life. “Should he deserve to be like that? My father is a good man. He doesn’t do things that can anger others. He doesn’t give any reasons to be hated. But why my mother left him anyway?”
As she feeling the flowing water of the shower, she hold her face with both hands.
“I remember the time when my Aunt and her family visits, she mentioned that I have my mother’s figure. My face, my nose, my lips, everything except my eyes is was likely my father’s. Can’t he see through my eyes the love that’s for him?” she touch every part that reminds her of her mother.
She hug herself while the water is still pouring like a hard rain. She turn the heater of the shower, she wants it hot, she wanted to feel how to being burn. She wanted to feel how to be like in hell. She wanted to feel how to die. She wanted to feel the pain . But not too long she turn it off and cried and cried louder. She hug her self tighter as she sat down on the floor.
They are rich but not happy. They have money but can’t be use to find her mother. They have cars but can’t even go traveling. They have a huge house but don’t feel like a home. They have almost everything and everyone dreams but not happiness. All she wants is to feel how to be happy like before.
She stayed right there in the cold small bathroom. Thinking of anyways she can help her father to overcome the painful situation they both have. She don’t know how long she had been there, she just stand up when she is shaking cold. Go to her closet and find some clothes to wear, and found the dress she was not hoping to find. She pick the dress that her father bought as a gift few years ago, it still fit on her but not like as before that it was long, now it was already on her knee level. It was a purple simple dress, it is her favorite and she hasn’t wear it for long. The last time she remember was when it was her mother’s birthday. Parang pinipiga ang kanyang puso sa tuwing naalala niya ang mga ngiti nang kanyang mga magulang.
She look at her self in the mirror and see a beautiful girl but not healthy. Swollen eyes, lots of brushes, she pity herself for being like this. But she doesn’t need to please no one but her happiness. Her happiness, her father’s happiness is what she wanted the most and that she would do.
She plan to try bring back the light of her father.
YOU ARE READING
The Secrets of Jane
Mystery / Thriller"There's no point of sharing to anyone if no one will listen. The reason why I perfected the art of hiding." -Jane This story is about a girl who is in the situation that no one would want. As she continue the life she is in, she found someone's dai...
