The Secrets of Jane

Chapter 4

Her vision were blur. Everytime that she would try to clear her visual feels like a dagger on her head. Crawling on the dirty floor she goes.

She wanted to escape but it's hard. It's too painful to avoid the hitting. Her father bet her to death.

Eyes were on tears, falling liquids of pain. Legs are shaking to be able to take a step. She force herself to stand and run even though how painful her situation.

There is no impossible if you are determined.

She doesn't mind her father's whipped however painful it was. All in her mind is to find a way to avoid the place where time let her feel. All of her life never did she go against to her father but this time she really can't take it no more. Pain consumed her but she didn't fight. Fight for her life to live and continue.

She new if this continues that would be game over.

Fighting is really against her heart but her mind is shouting to survive and that's how she did. She fight against her father but not to the point that she would kill him. It was only to escape for the meantime. She catches the coming belt of her father and pull it, the reason why her father outbalance and hit his head on the table corner. Blood on his forehead, clenching in pain while his left hand holding his forehead.

Bata pa ang kanyang ama pero dahil ito ay lasinggiro at di sa tamang oras kumakain kaya naging mahina ito. She can see that her father is in pain but she did not dare to comfort him. She sees her father already sitting on the floor while still in pain. Her heart is shouting to help him but not her body and mind. Even her feet turns and didn't listen to her hearts sorrow.

Iniwan niya ang kanyang ama sa hapag kainan na hindi mabuti ang kalagayan. Akala niya, kaya niya itong mabago ngunit nagkamali siya. Akala niya matutulongan niyang maibalik ang dating sigla ng kanyang ama ngunit mas lumala ito.

She cooked her father's favorites adobong manok, pancit palabok, sisig, Sauerbraten (roast beef stew), and breaded  prok chops. Senigurado niya na masarap ang mga ito, tinawagan pa nga niya ang kaniyang Nana Nisa upang magpatulong sa pagloloto kahit na pumupunta lamang sa kanila kapag linggo o di kaya pag kailangan nila ng katulong kasi iyon ang gusto ng kanyang ina noon pa at hindi ito nagbago kahit na wala na ang kanyang ina. Buti nga pumayag ito upang tulungan siya, mabait ito sa kanya, ito nga ang tagapangalaga sa kanya noong bata pa siya kapag busy ang kanyang mga magulang.

"Heto anak," inabot ni Nana sakin ang cake na ginawa ko para kay papa, simply lang ito pero hinaluan ko ng pagmamahal.

"Anak kung kailangan mo ng tulong tawagan mo lang ako at darating ako. Pag kailangan mo ng kausap narito lang ako. Sana tumino na ulit ang ama mo. Napakasakit tingnan ang kalagayan nnyo ngayon. Kung hindi ka nagmakaawa na hindi ipakulong ang ama mo sigurado akong nabulok na iyan sa selda ngunit kilala ko rin ang ama mo hindi iyan ganyan dati."

"Thank you Nana Nisa. Huwag po kayong mag alala kaya ko pong pakisamahan si Dad. I know deep inside that his good it's just his in the other side of the road. That's why I'm here for him, I can't just leave him in his state. I don't want something bad happened to him."

"Iyon na nga sinasaktan ka na nga pero mahal mo pa din. Sana lahat ng bata kagaya mo, maganda na nga mabait at maaruga pa."

"That's how my parents want me to be  it just happened they change," mayroong kalungkutan naka ukit sa kanyang mukha at nakita iyon ng kanyang Nana.

"Alam mo anak gustong-gusto kita ilayo dito pero alam ko rin na hindi mo iiwan ang iyong ama."

"That's okay Nana I can manage."

"Huwag kang mag pupuyat. Huwag mo rin pababayaan ang sarili mo malapit ng magpapasukan ihanada mo na ang sarili mo. Libangin mo ang sarili mo sa pagaaral  o di kaya sa pagbabasa maraming libro doon sa library nnyu. Marami kang natutunan doon."

"Speaking of library, alam niyo po bang may ibang library dito sa bahay Nana? I mean I was in there earlier but I forget the way and I don't remember that there was that area before."

"Ah sinasabi mo bang noon sa left wing ng bahay niyo? May maliit na silid aklatan doon, hindi mo lang ata natatandaan kasi maliit ang daan doon at sadyang ayaw mo talaga mo pumupunta doon."

"Huh, pano niyo po nasasabi na ayaw ko doon? Will the place is scary but it was not like a place where I don't wanna enter," she said with a questioning look.

"Hahaha, anak natatandaan ko pa noon na grabe ang iyak mo sa mommy mo kasi sabi mo may nakita kay momo doon. At simula sa araw na iyon hindi kana pumupunta sa parte ng bahay na iyon."

"Is that's so? But I don't remember a thing," her face saddened it was a nice library.

"Puwede ka namang pumunta doon hindi ka naman siguro papagalitan ng ama mo."

"Will I would differently go back there, the place makes me feel in ease."

Napaigtad siya ng hinimas ng kanyang Nana Nisa ang kanyang braso na may pasa at nakikita niya sa mga mata nito na hindi ito nagustuhan ang kanyang natamo.

"I'm fine Nana," she said before her Nana would ask for more.

"Gamutin mo iyan anak hah, mananahimik mo na ako sa ngayon, pero kapag lumala pa ito hindi mo na ako mapatigil. Gagawin ko na talaga ang gusto ko."

"I know Nana but please have faith in me and my Dad, I know he will come back," she show assurance smile to her Nana. "Sige na Nana baka hinahanap kana sa inyo salamat sa tulong, pangako sa susunod na sweldo mo dadagdagan ko ng palihim."

"Nako anak huwag na mas kailangan mo ng pera. Okay lang ako malaki na nga sinasahod niyo sakin eh kahit hindi naman ako parati dito."

"I know you have lots of stomach to feed Nana."

"Oo nga pero malaki parin iyon, nakapagpatayo nga kami ng sari-sari store eh kasi may subra pa sa binibigay niyo samin at saka dinadalhan mo pa kami ng pagkain at mga gamit minsan, iyon tuloy hindi na kami makakabili sa dami ng pinapamigay mo."

"Wala po iyon Nana, maliit na bagay po iyon."

"Kung para sa iyo maliit pero samin subrang-subra na iyon anak. Sige na akoy humayo na para ikaw makapaghanda sana magustuhan ni sir ang inihanda mo. Sana maalala niya na kaarawan niya ngayon at nandiyan ka para ipagdiwang ang birthday niya."

"Salamat talaga Nana," she gave a big smile to her. If it wasn't for her Nana that give advices she don't think she could do things properly.

"Paalam na anak pupunta ako dito sa linggo upang mag linis, galingan mo hah. Pasayahin mo ang iyong ama."

When her Nana left she still have the smile on her face. She arrange the things in the table, it was simple but she sure that it will make her father smile.

"What is the meaning of this Claire!?" ang matitigas at mapaseguridad na boses ng kanyang ama ang nagpaigtad sa kanya.