Living with Pain

Chapter 18: First Dates

Sky

It took continual reassurance to convince Mayson that no, I did not need her help to get ready for my date. I was perfectly capable of dressing myself. She of course complained that I always wore plain clothes that hid my figure. I just told her that if Cash didn't like me that way I was, he wasn't worth it.

I fix my hair up into a messy bun and head downstairs. "Mom!" I call.

"In the kitchen!"

I enter the kitchen, not surprised to see the counter covered in an assortment of food and containers as she meal preps for the following week. "Can you please fix my hood?" I turn my back so she can rearrange my hoodie's hood.

She patiently washes her hands and adjusts my hood so it lays just right against my back. "Thanks," I stuff my hands into the single front pocket.

"When's Cash coming?" The doorbell rings in response.

"Right now," I smile and rush to the front door. I slide across the entryway in my socks, colliding into the door with a small thud. I throw it open and give Cash a big hug.

His chest rumbles with laughter, "Hello to you too."

I pull away slightly, glad I'm standing a step above him so we are almost eye level. "I'm just excited."

"I'm not complaining. It's nice to be wanted," he winks.

I let him step inside so I can pull on my tennis shoes. Romeo greets Cash, his whole rear end moving back and forth as he wags his tail.

"You two have fun and be safe, okay," Mom orders. "When should I expect you back?"

"Three hours?" Cash estimates.

"Call me if you run into any trouble."

"Don't worry, Mom. We'll be fine." I am reassured, embarrassed by her worry.

"I'll take care of her," Cash promises, pulling me against his side. Romeo whines now that nobody is paying attention to him.

I laugh, "Romeo will too."

Cash holds the backseat door of his truck open so Romeo can jump in before holding the passenger door for me. We drive in comfortable silence, holding hands and listening to music.

The hiking spot Cash chose is beautiful. We walk along a path through trees, past a river, and up to a gorgeous overhang. I'm glad the incline is relatively minor. I don't think I would have the strength to do anything overly strenuous. Romeo enjoys getting out somewhere different than our normal walking paths.

We sprawl out on the picnic blanket Cash brought.

"I brought a ham sandwich for you and a roast beef for me," he sets out the sandwiches, some apples, and two water bottles.

"You remembered," I smile, touched that he recalled my answer to one of his random questions mixed in the hundreds of conversations we've had through text.

"Of course."

Romeo flops across my legs. I slip him a bite of my sandwich, which incites him to continue to beg for food. "No more, buddy. I need to eat too." He whines softly, but resigns himself to curling up beside me.

"Are you having a good time?" Cash asks hesitantly.

"Absolutely. It's beautiful weather and I love being outdoors."

"Good, good. So question," Cash starts in our typical pattern.

"Answer."

"How many boyfriends have you had?"

I look away, feeling my cheeks go red. I don't know why I'm embarrassed by my answer, but especially compared to his dating background, mine is nonexistent. "None."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I brush the loose strands of hair out of my face, "I've been on some dates and what not, but no boyfriend."

"Why not, if you don't mind me asking?"

His face displays genuine curiosity, no hint of judgement. I want to tell him the true reason why, but I'm not ready for that conversation. Not yet. Instead I opt for a shrug. "I guess guys have always seemed too childish, self-absorbed, or oblivious."

Cash laughs, "Well, I hope I'm not any of those things."

"You're not," I match his smile. "My turn for a question."

"Okay, shoot."

I lay down so I'm staring up at the clouds. "Does that cloud more resemble a bunny or a dog?"

Cash mirrors my positioning. "All I see are white blobs on a blue background."

"It's called imagination," I laugh, shoving his shoulder with my own.

"I'm trying!"

We spend longer than I would have thought possible laying there, staring at the sky. For a precious few minutes, I'm not thinking about my body. The ache and pain is pushed back, allowing me to be firmly in the moment. It's a feeling I haven't had in a long, long time. I don't want it to end.

I prop myself up on my elbow and turn to Cash. "Thank you for this. It's perfect."

He turns to me with a grin. "The days isn't over yet."

"Still, thank you." He doesn't understand what a gift this small moment is. I may be sore later from the hike and laying on the hard ground, but I never thought that someone could have this effect on me.

"You're welcome." Cash's eyes soften. His face is close enough to mine that I can feel his warm breath brush my nose.

"I've never noticed how perfectly blue-gray your eyes are," I whisper even though there is no one around to eavesdrop.

"They're nothing special. Not compared to yours. The color is always changing from deep blue to gray to green." He leans even closer.

"What color are they now?" I breathe, not daring to move.

"Green. Vibrant green." Cash's eyes flicker down to my lips. Before he can close the distance, Romeo jumps up from his resting place and starts barking.

I sit up and focus on Romeo who seems to have found a squirrel to pester. As I readjust my focus, I take a deep breath. That was close. Really close. My heart is still pounding and I'm sure my face is red.

"We better head back down the trail. I don't want your Mom to worry," Cash stands up and starts folding the blanket. I help him pack up everything. Then we head back the way we came, hand in hand. Neither of us acknowledge what almost happened. Maybe I was imagining it? I give him a sideways look. Yes, must have imagined it.