Living with Pain

Chapter 29: Fighting

Sky

The next day I drag myself to school. I'm not 100%. I don't actually know what that is anymore, but I feel fine enough to make it to my classes.

I get to school early enough to meet up with Cash in the dance room. I smile as I see him. He gives me a hug and whispers. "Are you sure you should be here today?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm fine."

"You weren't yesterday"

I pull away with a huff, glaring at Cash. "I said I'm fine." My cheerful mood that came with seeing him disappears. "I'm going to go get caught up in my first hour. Bye."

I turn and stomp out of the dance room, ignoring Cash's hurt expression. Maybe I was overreacting. Okay... maybe not maybe, I realize as I walk into the girls bathroom. I splash some water on my face to try to ground myself. I hate that the littlest things bother me, especially after a bad day. And I hate that he saw me that way yesterday. The pity and worry in his eyes today was not something I had expected. I needed him to ignore it when I ignored it. But how would he know how to handle this if I didn't tell him? I shake my head at my irrational behavior.

I think about going back and apologizing, but the warning bell rings. It will have to wait until after lunch. I pull out my phone and text Cash.

Me: I'm sorry. Let's talk at lunch.

Cash

I watch Sky walk out of the dance room in a huff, feeling hurt and confused.

"Trouble in paradise" Rush asks with a raised eyebrow.

I shrug. "I'm not sure what I did wrong." I haven't told them about Sky's... issues... yet, not sure if she would be ok with me sharing it. And, to be honest, I didn't understand it yet.

"Girls. Must be that time of month." Rush laughs.

Dillion punches him in the arm, "That's inappropriate. Everyone has moody days."

I smile as Rush sulkily rubs his arm. Maybe Dillion was right though, she's just having a moody day.

The bell rings. As I head to my first hour I glance at my phone.

Sky: I'm sorry. Let's talk during lunch.

Sky

My nausea increases as lunch draws near. I hate conflict. What if I apologized and Cash didn't understand? What if he broke up with me?

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that it was my anxiety spinning the worst case scenarios, but it was hard to calm it down. I try to ground myself with some deep breaths. When the lunch bell finally rings, I reluctantly go to find Cash.

He's standing at my locker, per usual, a smile on his face. He pulls me into a big hug before I can say my carefully rehearsed apology. "How are you, beautiful?"

I don't meet his eyes, instead burying myself in his scent and strong arms. "I'm sorry," I mumble.

"It's okay."

With a sigh, I break away from the hug. "I just..." I trail off, no long sure how to explain what I was feeling. He waits patiently for me to continue.

"I guess I don't like you worrying about me."

"But that's my job," Cash states firmly.

I groan, turning my focus to my locker. "Not like this. You shouldn't have to worry about me like this."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"I knew this was a bad idea," I slam my locker shut and turn to walk away.

"Wait a minute," Cash grabs my arm, halting my storming out. "What was a bad idea."

I gesture wildly between us.

Cash raises an eyebrow. "You think we are a bad idea?"

I shrug, once again not meeting his eyes. "I'm just broken. And it's hard to deal with someone like me. It's not fair to you. I don't need you worrying over me and you don't need someone to worry over."

Cash stares at me in disbelief. "Are you seriously that delusional? I like you, a lot. I care about you, Sky. That means I'm going to worry about you. I'm allowed that."

"But-"

Cash interrupts me. "No. I'm not done. It's my choice to be with you. I want to be with you. I need you."

Tears sting my eyes as I take in his confession. He pulls me into a tight hug. "Please, don't push me away. I know I don't always say the right things; we're still figuring each other out. But I want to figure you out, no matter how long that takes."

I pull away just enough to look up at Cash. "I want to figure you out too."

"Good. Then don't run away. Don't push me away." I slowly nod. Then everything blurs as he pulls me into a long, sweet kiss.