Living with Pain

Chapter 42: Dance Like No One's Watching

Sky

I look into Cash's stormy eyes and take a deep breath. The crowd fades in the background as the first familiar notes float through the air.

"Dance like no one is watching. Dance like there is no pain." Cash squeezes my hand.

I nod. He pulls me to him and then we dance.

All I can feel is Cash, the beat of the music and the energy in the air. I'm twirling, spinning, leaping, dipping, and kicking. Cash throws me into the air. I'm with him then away then pulled back to his arms. I don't think. Don't worry about the inevitable pain that will come. The throbbing in my joints. I just feel the music and react.

The song comes to an end. I'm standing in front of Cash, panting. He pulls me in for a kiss, his eyes shining. As we pull apart, I finally hear the cheering around us. Cash pulls me off the floor and through the crowd.

I can't process everything people are saying, but I hear bits and pieces. "Where did you learn to dance?" "You were amazing" "Can I have your number?"

"You really were incredible. Thank you for dancing with me." Cash whispers in my ear.

"Only for you," I smile.

We make it back to my pile of clothes. I sit on the floor to pull my boots on. I'm starting to feel the stress of the night. The crowd is a little too loud and the lights a little too bright.

Cash

Rush comes up to me as I lean against a wall, waiting for Sky to get her boots on. "Since when did Sky dance!?"

I shrug. "It's a long story." And not mine to tell. "She was-is- amazing though."

Rush nods in agreement. He sees me watching her with admiration.

"Now I see why you are so whipped and ready to go domestic. I would too if my girlfriend was that hot and talented."

"She's beautiful in ways I didn't know existed. I love her. I think I want to spend forever with her." It was the first time I had admitted it out loud.

Rush grins. "Good luck. Just don't forget about me as you move on with your grown up life. And you better make me the best man at your wedding."

"Of course," I return the smile.

Sky walks ups, her thin figure covered again by her sweater. I notice the fatigue that has creeped back into her eyes. She looks a little pale as well.

"Do you want to go?" I ask.

"I don't want to pull you away prematurely..." she hesitates.

"You aren't. Besides, nothing can top what we just did. So let's head out before the party dies."

She nods wearily and grabs my hand. We step into the cool night air and I can see her visibly sag. The adrenaline is definitely wearing away. Selfishly, I don't want this night to end just yet. It's only midnight.

I hold open her door and boost her into the truck. I slide into the driver's seat and turn to her. "Do you want me to take you home?"

"Honestly, not really. I'm not ready to say goodnight." Just what I wanted to hear.

"Alright. I have an idea." A thought crosses my mind. "Do you need to take your pills though?"

Sky sighs and pulls a bottle out of her purse. "Thanks for reminding me. I almost forgot I wasn't normal " She swallows them quickly.

"Normal is overrated."

We drive in a comfortable silence to the valley lookout. I throw the truck in park and leave it running for the music and heat. Unbuckling, I pull Sky to me.

"I love bench seats" I mumble into her hair, relishing in her scent and warmth.

"And I love you." Sky counters.

We stay there for a long time, staring at the lights in the valley. Just as I'm certain Sky is asleep, she speaks. "Why did you choose me. To be your girlfriend? I'm not easy... there are so many other girls"

Her insecurity strikes a cord in my heart. I pull her closer.

"There are no girls like you though. Your shy smile was the first thing I noticed. The way you would observe the world around you, trying to blend into the background. You didn't want to be seen. At first, that was enough to peak my curiosity. I wanted to get to know the girl who hid in plain sight. As I got to know you, I realized how beautiful, kind, smart, funny, sweet, and amazing you are. And I started to fall. At some point you stole my heart. Now I can't imagine my life without you."

Sky cuddles deeper into my chest and I kiss the top of her head.

"I don't feel like someone as broken as me deserves it, but I love you and I selfishly don't want to let you go."

"It isn't selfish. I choose to stay. You are not broken anymore than the rest of us. You make me a better man."

We get lost in a passionate kiss. The air is hot with desire. I want her. All of her. But I can't yet. I pull away before I lose control.

"Sky?"

"Yes?"

"I want to call you mine for the rest of my life. I want to come home to you each and every night. I want to share a house with a white picket fence around it. I want to call you my wife. I want you." I have never been so certain of anything in my life.

She stares into my eyes. I try to read her expression and worry when I see the glint of forming tears. "I want that to. More than anything."

I smile and pull her in for another kiss.

"Promise me something."

"Anything."

I pull her left hand up to my lips and place a soft kiss on her ring finger. "Save this spot for me."

Sky

I danced. I laughed. I loved. I allowed myself to be fully in the moment. For once, fibromyalgia was not at the forefront of my mind. I wasn't letting it win. I was taking back control of my life. I had an amazing man. Ambitious life goals. I was determined.

I was finally living.