Living with Pain

Chapter 7: Movie Night, Take Two

Sky

Mayson and I pull up in front of Rush's house. I nervously wipe my hands across my jeans. It's the second social event in the last week and I'm more anxious than I wish I was.

"You ready?" Mayson asks.

I nod and smile, trying to push away my worry, unsuccessfully. But I do manage to move my feet out of the car and to the front door. "Why are you nervous?" Mayson whispers to me as I knock.

"People are scary. I don't know how to act." I shrug.

"You'll be fine," she reassures. "I'll be with you and everyone will be focused on the movie."

The door opens before I can respond. "Hey!" Rush pulls Mayson and I each into a hug. I awkwardly half hug him back, but he doesn't seem to notice my apprehension. He turns and leads us inside.

"Mayson and Sky are here!" Rush shouts to the whole house. I notice a handful of other ballroom kids hanging out on the couches playing video games. Mayson had warned me that there were always a group of people hanging out at Rush's house, so I wasn't surprised by the additional faces.

"Nice to meet you, Sky. How are you Mayson?" A woman walks up and gives Mayson a hug.

"Doing just fine, Mama B."

"There's snacks in the kitchen and the movie downstairs. Make yourselves at home."

I smile at the kind woman, Mama B. I assume she is Rush's mom. Mayson, Rush, and I go downstairs. My face lights up when I see Cash lounging on one of the two couches.

"Hey. I just put in a movie. I'm not sure what it is. Looked entertaining." He smiles at us.

I sit on the other couch with Mayson. Rush flops on the floor. Another ballroom kid wanders in.

I watch the movie with only half my attention. The rest of my attention is taken by the comings and goings of Rush's friends. The house has an overall happy and welcoming atmosphere. The energy is nice. All the people are really comfortable with each other. It's weird how quickly I was sucked into this world. I briefly wonder how long my relationships with these people will last.

"I'm hungry," Mayson groans.

"Let's go get pizza then," Rush replies.

"Yes!" Mayson squeals, jumping up and pulling Rush with her. "I'll be back, Sky."

As quickly as the suggestion was made, they were gone. I feel a slight panic in my chest. My lifeline just left. Thanks a lot Mayson.

I sigh. No panicking. Breath. I need to grow up. Breath. I'm just here watching a movie anyways. It's not like I'm having to make conversation. Breath.

I pull my phone out and start typing on my document sheet that holds all my poems and random thoughts. I know I use my phone as a crutch, but I need it's distraction.

Pain holds me here to this earth. Always in the back of my mind. If pain is what tells me I'm alive I feel so, so alive.

I notice Cash shifting on his couch and I look up to see his gorgeous smile. "You look lonely. Want some company?"

"A-I-a-sure" I stutter. Real smooth. I internally roll my eyes at myself. Once again I'm glad it's dark so he can't see the red creep onto my cheeks.

He flashes that smile again and moves over to sit next to me, almost touching, but not quite. He leans a little closer and whispers in my ear, even though there is nobody else around to hear, "You're really cute when you blush." Well maybe it isn't dark enough to hide.

"Thanks," I squeak out, my face getting more red.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Watching a movie, just like you."

"I can see that," he sighs dramatically. "I meant on your phone." Cash leans over my shoulder.

I quickly hit the off button. "Just writing."

"Can I see?"

I shake my head. "It's nothing good."

"Hmm, okay." Cash leans back against the couch.

We both turn our attention back to the movie. This lasts for about two minutes.

"Do you want french fries?" Cash turns to me. I swear this kid has ADD.

"I can never say no to French fries."

"Sweet! Let's go!"

I laugh as he grabs my hand and drags me upstairs. Before I know it, I'm in the front seat of his truck, texting Mayson to let her know we will be back if she gets back before we do. Cash pulls into the McDonalds parking lot and literally skips inside. I laugh as I follow, enamored by his spontaneous nature.

Cash orders two large fries and drinks. We sit in a corner booth across from each other, munching on the food and talking.

"How long have you ballroom danced?" I ask.

"For about eight years."

"Impressive."

He shrugs. "It's something I'm good at and I only like doing things I'm good at."

"I guess that's fair."

"What about you?"

I raise an eyebrow, not sure what he means.

"What do you do," he elaborates.

"Well, I like to read and write. I also play the piano."

"What kind of music?"

"Anything that makes me feel something," regretting the words immediately. That sounded better in my head. Saying it aloud just made it sound cheesy. Cash didn't seem to care, though. He just smiled and nodded like that made sense.

We talked until our food and drinks were gone and then climbed back into his truck. I couldn't believe how fast the time had flown. It was already 11. I had spent the majority of the time with Cash and hadn't even made a complete fool out of myself. At least I hope not... At any rate, I didn't have an anxiety attack. Something that would have been very normal for me in this situation.

Cash

I watch Sky in the passenger seat of my truck. She is staring out the window and I wonder what she is thinking about. I see her yawn again. The fourth one since we left McDonalds.

"Alright sleepy head, I'm going to take you home. You look super tired and won't stop yawning. Text Mayson and let her know."

She nods mid yawn. "That sounds wonderful actually."

I park in her driveway and walk her to her front door.

"Well, thanks for the great night. I had fun." She meets my eyes briefly, then averts her gaze back down to her shoes.

"Me too," I smile.

Sky returns the smile, blushing. Damn, I don't think that will ever get old.

"Well, I guess I better go and get to bed," Sky takes a step toward the door.

"I guess you should," I take a step towards her. The air around us grows still as I look down at her. She stares up at me. I brush a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear. She bits her bottom lip, drawing my attention.

I want to kiss her- damn, I really want to kiss her- but I'm afraid of scaring her off. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize she's a shy, reserved girl. But leaving her with just an awkward wave doesn't feel right. I try my luck and slowly pull her into a hug. She stiffens then relaxes and wraps her arms around me. Her head rests on my chest. I once again notice how much smaller she is than me. The top of her head only comes up to my shoulder.

I don't want to let go, but know I need to. We pull apart. I smile again as I see her red tinged cheeks. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."