Since Day One

Twenty Three

Since Day One, I've had enough... 

"They ask me to call you, dinner is ready." he said habang ako tulala lang sa kanya. I just can't believe that he will enter my room again like we are okay. Just like before when he always go to our house at bigla na lang papasok ng kwarto ko. 

I know that he already enter my room because of the blue roses that he left for me. Pero iba pa din pag nakikita ko na nandito siya. 

"Kalen can I ask you something?" he look at me before he nod his head. 

"What's with you and Alli?" Kanina pa talaga yan gumugulo sa utak ko lalo na nung makita ko sila na magkasama at mukhang masaya kanina. 

"Why are you asking?" Dahil nagseselos at nasasaktan ako kaya kailangan kong magtanong. 

"Wala lang, gusto ko lang malaman because you look happy while you are with her." I said and iniwasang tumingin sa mga mata niya. 

"You don't need to know that." Yun lang ang sinabi niya at lumabas na ng kwarto ko. Huminga na lang ako ng malalim at sumunod sa kanya. Anong magagawa ko kung ayaw niya namang sabihin sa'kin. 

Nang makababa ako nakita ko si Tito Gelo sa sala kasama si Kalen ngumiti lang ng magtama yung mata namin ni Tito but I saw him took a glance at Kalen and me kaya napailing na lang ako at pumunta ng kitchen para tumulong na din sa kanila na magprepare. 

"Oh, our chef is here!" Mom said kaya natawa na lang ako doon at tinulungan na sila na ayusin yung mga niluto nila sa dining. 

Hindi din nagtagal kompleto na kami dito sa dining at ako hindi makatingin kay Kalen. The sight of him smiling with Alli is stuck in my mind. Hindi siya mawala. 

I want him to smile at me like that, hold me like that. And talk to me without his anger and also laugh with me just like the old times. I want everything to happen. 

I want him to believe me that I really want his forgiveness not because I am guilty. 

"Saffira?" Napatingin ako kay Mommy ng tawagin niya ako. 

"Yes po?" I ask with a smile. 

"Are you okay?" Tumango naman ako doon at sinabing kumain na lang kami. 

Hindi ako iiyak ayoko ng umiyak. Dahil pag umiyak ako wala na tapos na. Susukuan ko na lahat kahit sa dami ng nagawa ko sa ilang buwan na paghabol sa kanya. 

I keep on running to him but he keep on turning his back on me and that makes my heart break into pieces at dahil nga matibay ako bubuuin ko ulit kahit na alam kong kinabukasan it will break again. 

"It's ber months already, what is our plan?" tanong ni Tito Gelo in the middle of our dinner kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. 

"What about we go to our rest house in batangas?" tanong ni Mommy at parang kuminang naman yung mata ko doon at mabilis na tumingin kay Mommy and I saw her smiling at me. 

She really know me.

"It's a good idea and it seems like Kalen and Saffira wants to got there." Napatingin tuloy ako kay Tita Kali dahil sa sinabi niya bago sumulyap kay Kalen na tahimik lang na kumakain. 

"But before that it's Saffira's birthday first." Mom said kaya napaisip tuloy ako. November 16 is my birthday. And it's already September. I suddenly remember Kalen's birthday. 

Yung birthday niya na galit siya sa'kin. 

Flashback 

It's August 3 and it's Kalen's birthday and it's just a simple dinner sa Diamonds dahil ayaw niya naman daw ng bongga yun yung sabi ni Tita Kali. Buti na nga lang sumakto na sabado kaya wala kaming pasok.