Distractions- Herophine Story [ON HOLD]

chapter eight

Ellie:

Tonight I just needed sometime to myself. Skyler and Hayden both invited me to party that one of their friends were throwing but I just wanted to be alone. Before I moved to college I spent a lot of my time alone in my room playing my piano when I wasn't with Addy, but ever since I moved to London I haven't spent more than a day alone without seeing Hayden or Skyler, or both. Don't get me wrong, I care a lot about both of them but I just needed a bit of space. So tonight I did what I would do if I were at home and Addy was busy, I sing.

I have had so much fun spending time with Hayden and I like him very much, but I can't help but feel like we may be moving a bit too fast. We are already to the cuddling and kissing stage and I just don't know if I am ready, even though I initiated. I am also terribly insecure when I think about us being a real couple. I may have searched up his instagram, and I may have found a few of his friends, and I may have seen some posts where Hayden has a model status girl beside him, and I may have sat in my room and cried for an hour over my own insecurities. And by may, I mean most certainly happened.

Once I have decided that if I sing anymore my voice will be hoarse for the next week, I call it a day and head by to my flat. It is already dark outside and I am already afraid and I would probably call Skyler or Hayden and ask for a ride if they weren't at a party, and I don't want to bother there fun. Luckily I have pepper spray and 911 on speed dial, so hopefully I will be safe on my walk back.

Before I leave I decide to stalk Haydens instagram one more time. I mean we are dating so this is a perk of being a girlfriend type thing right? But once I look in the post he is tagged in I wish I hadn't. It's a picture of Hayden sitting on a sofa, with a skinny, dark haired, barley clothed girl sitting on his lap. My heart immediately falls to my feet and tears form in my eyes. He literally asked me to this party and when I declined, he asked another girl? I really thought he liked me, but just like every other guy in the world, they go to the girl who they can sleep with. Not the conservatively clothed, curvier, broken girl. I should have known better than to fall for the most popular guy on campus. I should have been smarter. Is that what I will have to do to get a boyfriend? After I was raped I accepted the fact I was going to be alone for the rest of my life, but Hayden gave me hope. Hope that someone could actually love me even if I was broken, but I guess it just ended up being false hope. Hayden must have figured out that he couldn't get in my pants immediately, so he moved on. I cant really blame him though, he has needs and he found someone to please him else where. We also aren't exclusive so I cant be too mad, but I also can't be around him anymore. If I am this is all I am going to think about. I spend more time than I will let myself admit crying on the floor of the music room.

Once I am on the way home and barley noticeably crying, I hear a male voice behind me. I can't hear what he said, but I am too afraid to turn around so I quicken my pace until I hear him again. "Hey blondie." He shouts. He sounds older than me, but not too much older. My feet involuntary stop in place even though that is the last thing I need them to do. I feel him touch my arm and I flinch.

"Whats your name sweetheart?" he asks me but I don't answer. When I look up, I see a dark haired man with dark eyes. He also has a dark beard that takes up the majority of his lower face. He doesn't look old, probably in his late twenties or early thirties.

He starts to touch me, rubbing his hand down my shoulder before grabbing my bottom. I scream but he slaps his hand over my mouth hard to keep me quiet.

" Give me your wallet." I quickly go through my purse and hand him my wallet hoping he will leave me alone but he doesn't. Next he picks me up and wraps his arm tightly around my stomach, causing me to have trouble breathing. Once he uncovers my mouth I start to scream at the top of my lungs for help and luckily a guy across the street notices and starts screaming at the guy before he pulls me out of the mans grip. They start a scuffle but I don't stay around long enough to find out what happens.I run all the way until I am in the safety of my own flat and I bolt the door, then slide down it sobbing.