They lay together on the bed, Lindsey's head resting on Stevie's stomach as she played with his curls. They spent hours like that, neither of them knowing what to say. She would be there for him, always and if it's what he needed right now, she was going to stay in that bed with him until the sun came up the next morning.
He had his arm wrapped around her tightly, after a while, she started feeling uncomfortable, but she didn't move. He calmed down since coming to see her, she wouldn't wish to do something to change that. She was holding herself together pretty well, only a few tears escaping once he kissed her somewhere every now and then.
She wondered to herself if something more had happened that caused him to show up in such a state. In all the years she had known him, she very rarely saw him emotional, much less crying. She could break down, he? No, he was supposed to be the strong one out of the two. She should have known the time was going to come, when she would have to be the one holding and soothing him. She had nobody, she could only cry for her own broken heart, but he had three wonderful children.
It was tearing her apart seeing him like this, she wanted to help, to stop him from hurting. The only way they could make it stop was if they never saw each other again, but that wasn't likely to happen and on the other hand, it might even make the whole situation worse. They tried and they survived two days without each other.
All kinds of thoughts were swimming in her head. She didn't have anything to care for, nothing was keeping her down. She should have just upped and left to somewhere where nobody would ever think of searching for her. He would forget her, fix things with his wife and their kids would have both their parents living under the same roof. But who was she kidding... He was the first thought on her mind when waking up in the morning and the last one going to bed at nights. It would be easier to slash her wrists there and then than leave and never see him again for the rest of her life.
She shifted and he tightened his grip on her. "Lindsey, I have to go to the bathroom."
It seemed like he spent a moment thinking if he should let her go. He lifted his arm and she kissed him before going away. She spent about ten minutes in there, he was so zoned out, she doubted he even noticed how long it had been. If she was going to have to continue supporting him, she needed to let out some of her own emotions. She let the water run fast to muffle the sound and sobbed.
She forced a smile at him, but he kept staring into nothing. She untied the sash of her robe and it slipped on the floor. If things were fine, he would have been all over her by then, but he wasn't and it worried her even more. She pulled away the bedsheet and got under it, lying her head on the pillow.
"I need you with me."
"I am with you." She reached for his hand and lifted it up to her lips. "It's late and I'm cold. Get under the covers and I'll cuddle with you." She tried to make her voice sound uplifting, but it was getting harder and harder with each second. For a moment she thought he was high, he was a totally different man.
Finally, he almost literally rolled off the bed and undressed himself. His arms circled around her waist again immediately and he rested his head on her chest. Silence returned as well. She touched his face, making him look up at her. She hoped to find the answer in those blue grey eyes, but they had simply gone grey and it hurt her seeing how empty they were, when they should be so full of life. She was so close to losing it. She wanted to scream at him, knowing that something had definitely happened, and he was saying nothing. It was killing her.
"I love you."
"I know." Then he added. "You're so much more beautiful like this."
She looked away, suddenly feeling shy. He moved his body up higher, proping up on his elbow and drew her in for a kiss. She tried her best to enjoy the moment, knowing that things more than likely wouldn't escalate tonight. She opened her eyes, when the kiss became lazy and almost nonexistent, and backed away. She traced the soft wrinkles on his forehead with the pads of her fingers, ran them over his lips and then laced her fingers through his.
"Can you be honest with me?"
"I'll try."
"I know you can't be without me, but you also can't leave your wife. You keep telling me it's because of the kids, that Stella is still so young, but... What's truly the reason that you can't leave her?"
"You don't want to know, Stevie."
"But I do." Her voice cracked and she tried hard not to start crying.
He rolled onto his back and was staring at the ceiling. When he finally spoke again, she wished she had never asked. "Kristen's pregnant."
~
I have no idea what happened! Half the chapter just disappeared, had to rewrite it quickly. It's not as good as it was before, sorry :(
