Something new

Chapter 13

WARNINGS- swearing, mention of alcoholics, mention of heart attacks, child neglect?, kinda sad.

Wrapped up in Phil's warmth, bare skin on bare skin, everything seemed almost perfect in that moment. I'd only just woken up, embraced in Phil's arms, my head resting on his chest. His steady breathing tickled my neck slightly as I took in his beauty. Parted plump lips, a bright comparison to his pale skin, dark lashes thick on his closed eyes. I couldn't help but smile as I watched his eyes slowly flutter open, glazed over and sleepy.

Yawning widely he laughed as I ended up doing the same. "Morning... were you watching me sleep?" He was clearly amused as he asked me.

"Shut up." Mumbling into his neck I snuggled up closer, savoring this moment.

It was pretty rare for us to have mornings like these. Usually I'd leave Phil before he was even awake to sneak back into my shared room. But today was a Saturday, and Tom had some sort of sporting competition him and some others were staying at last night and tonight. I tried not to seem too excited when Tom had told me he'd be away for a couple nights.

Just as I'd got comfortable again, the sound of Phil's high pitched ring tone filled my ears from the bedside table next to be. Whining as he started to move towards it he chuckled, not in too much of a rush to grab it.

"Noo... I was really comfortable as well." He quickly pecked my pouting lips before properly sitting up and reaching over me to get his still ringing phone.

"Hello?" Sleep was still evident in his voice, making it unbelievably deeper than usual, creating goosebumps to run up and down my bare arms.

"Yeah that's me."

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. His whole face just seemed to fall. The light in his blue eyes slowly seeped out, disappearing right before me. They weren't the beautiful gem like irises I'd usually get lost in. They were gone. All that was left was dullness.

His expression didn't seem to show any emotion in particular. It wasn't sad, it wasn't angry, it wasn't shocked. There was just nothing there.

The grip on his phone started to make his knuckles turn white, arm slightly shaking from the force he was putting onto it. With parted lips, his chest had stopped rising and falling. Looking as if he forgot how to breathe, I had no idea what was going on. And to be honest, I was terrified of this Phil I'd never seen before.

Sitting up quickly, I tried to look him in the eyes, but all I was met with was a blank expression.

"Phil, baby, look at me, breathe, please." I whispered the last word, scared of how he'd react.

Throwing objects all over the room, screaming at everything, at me even, or just breaking down and crying next to me. Anything like that, I so wished is how he reacted. But he didnt. I wished I hadn't said anything. Maybe if I'd just kept quiet he wouldn't have ever said it to me. Maybe he wouldn't have looked at me like I was scum. Maybe he wouldn't have almost growled the words out at me, as if he was talking to anyone other than me. His boyfriend. The boy who he'd just had sex with for the first time last night. The boy who would do just about anything for him.

"Get out." His voice was like venom to my ears, staring me dead in the eye as he chucked a pair of boxes towards me.

"What?... Phil, I just want to help, make sure you're okay. I-"

"I said fucking get out! I don't need you, so fuck off! Or do you not understand what that means?"

I thought it was impossible for me to be scared of Phil. That was until I saw the anger behind his eyes, staring me down. Feeling incredibly small in that moment, perched on his bed shaking as I pulled the underwear on, I was so shocked at the person I was seeing in front of me. I couldn't move as I stared, I didn't want to think about what would happen if I didn't go, but I physically couldn't, feeling paralyzed to the space on the mattress.