NCT Oneshots {ot23} | open

Déjà Vu: MarkSung

▹prompt: déjà vu
▹word count: 2502
▹genre: getting back together
▹warnings: n/a

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹❀◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

Mark can't make up his mind. Should he wear a hoodie or a shirt? There's no doubt Donghyuck will dress up a bit, but he's always been a bit of a fashionista. Should he put makeup on? Renjun probably will, assuming he still enjoys experimenting with new techniques that make his eyelids sparkle and his lips glisten. Should he text the others to let them know when he's on his way? Jeno, Jaemin and Chenle have already sent a few messages to the chat. He checks his phone again to make sure. The icon in the corner makes his fingers sweat. It's an old photo of the seven of them, taken a few days after their debut twenty years ago, and they're all smiling just as brightly as the colours in their stage outfits. Mark hasn't seen much of the members over the past few years, except for the odd Instagram post or news story. He doesn't know what to expect.

Is he excited or nervous?

Jisung is most of the problem. Jisung is going to be there. Of course he will, Mark scolds himself. It's a group reunion. But it's Jisung. He shivers at the memory of how their hands used to intertwine, and of how Jisung would sleep on his chest at night, and of how they'd buy each other little gifts out of the blue. They never went far with their relationship. No one knew except them. No one could know except them. Their contract ended, and they split up just as the group did, not a trace left, the past disintegrating.

Mark's been no less busy since then. He's published a total of six books, with another one on the go, and he knows Jisung has a secure career as a model. Writing has helped Mark forget his heartbreak, but it's all coming back to him and is crushing his heart all over again. He can't stop himself from hoping that Jisung's feelings haven't diminished either. He craves for a relationship like the ones he indulges his characters in.

Mark pours his glass of juice down the sink, makes himself a potent mug of coffee instead. As he gulps it down, he wonders if Jaemin still drinks as much as he used to. 

But what if Jisung has a partner? What if he's moved on? What if he's married? There's no reason he would even be invited to the wedding, so it's a possibility.

Mark shoves the pile of messy notes and drafts aside and slams his empty mug down on the kitchen table harder than intended. He cringes at the clunk. He's on edge this morning. Only last week was he back in Canada for a book signing event and countless interviews about his new novel, and now he's already in Seoul, pacing around his tiny living room in his tiny apartment that barely looks lived-in. The familiar skyscrapers and cafés out the window summon too many memories now there's a different context to his presence in the city.

An alarm sounds. He stumbles back to the kitchen to tap it away on his phone. It's time to leave. But he doesn't want to. But he desperately does. 

He checks his appearance in the mirror. His hair is dark, rather long at the back, the days of frequent colour changes long faded, yet his eyes still glisten with youth despite reaching his thirties.

In the taxi to the company building, he listens to an NCT Dream playlist, skips 'Dear Dream'. Letting the lilting melody of 'Walk You Home' and the bubbly beat of 'We Go Up' accompany his thoughts, he hugs his coat tight around his body and stares out the grimy window. 

Will he still be expected to take the lead? He doesn't know if he has it in him anymore. It was tough to control the hyper teenagers during practice even when dancing was such an integral part of his life. He hasn't danced in years. Not properly, anyway. And he certainly hasn't touched any of their choreographies.