NCT Oneshots {ot23} | open

Faded In My Last Song: RenHyuck

▹prompt: faded in my last song
▹word count: 578
▹genre: angst, hurt no comfort, break-up
▹warnings: drinking

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹❀◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

Renjun mindlessly sways to the beat of the song playing in the background. The guitar is soft, yet each strum makes his heart twinge with pain, and he nearly tumbles off the sofa he's sprawled across.

It's Haechan's favourite song. The one that was playing when they got together, and when they shared their first kiss, too. They'd always listen to it through an old pair of earphones, leaning their heads together with the knotted cable dangling between them and coming to rest above their intertwined hands.

And then it was playing when they broke up. As though to lure them into a false sense of security. It still wasn't enough to ward off the strike of lightning that burnt a gaping hole between them that both are too scared to even try and cross.

The lyrics speak about love in the most poetic way possible. Before things took a sour turn, Renjun's heart would flutter and he'd fall even further in love with Haechan each time he listened.

But now they're twisted, taunting Renjun about the hole in his heart as more alcohol slides down his throat – he doesn't know how else to banish Haechan from his memory.

Haechan had promised him forever. They both promised they'd be together forever. Their friends, families, co-workers all believed they'd be together forever. And yet the only thing Renjun can imagine for his future is loneliness. Forget spring, summer, autumn and winter, because the one season he's living through is an eternal void filled by Haechan's face. He supposes he still gets to spend his forever with Haechan, just in a sick, depressing way, through a sheet of glass that cannot be smashed, cannot be passed. He smiles, a mere expression without emotion.

The song builds, distorted by Renjun's sobs until the melody his sorrows infect the melody, and it falls into a minor key, one that only wrings the tears from his eyes and hisses in his ears, wrecking his body limp like a rag doll.

He's a mess. He can hardly blame Haechan for leaving him.

Their first song became their last song, and no matter how much Renjun cries out, he can't drown his thoughts or cut the ties between Haechan and that dreadful, dreadful song.

Haechan dedicated it to him. And he learnt the chords specially for valentine's day, and his endearing rendition had the two of them collapsed from laughter. Renjun so desperately wants to hold his hand again, hear his honey voice again, and curl up in his strong arms one more time. But there's never going to be another time.

Forever means nothing. Not to Renjun, at least. It used to be hopeful, and the word made him giddy whenever Haechan pronounced it, his plump lips forming the syllables in such an enticing way. In a way that had Renjun addicted and coming back for more.

The more sensible voice warns there's no point in scrambling to hold on when his ex is already so far away. He should let him go. Haechan seemed to find it easy, so why is it so damn hard for him? Why is he so torn over his feelings?

Renjun opens his mouth to scream, but nothing makes reaches the air. He's so gone he can't even speak. So he chugs another mouthful of whatever cheap spirit he found in the back of a kitchen cupboard.

And Haechan fades with the final chords of their last song. 

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹❀◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

I apologise for hurting renhyuck :c