NCT Oneshots {ot23} | open

Pretending: JaeMark

▹prompt: pretending it's not broken
▹word count: 2411
▹genre: angst, hurt/comfort
▹warnings: implied depression

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹❀◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

Jaehyun likes the rain. Most of the time.

He likes to listen to the way it patters against the windows, painting shimmering streaks across the glass without ever touching him. He feels invincible in those moments. The rhythm soothes him, reminds him that he's safe, from the rain at least, and the raindrops filter out his dark thoughts until his mind is empty, but his heart a little fuller.

But sometimes, the rain can be a nuisance.

Especially when he isn't curled up in bed with the windows to shield him from the storm.

He's on his way home from the college library. Ragged breaths, raw cheeks aching in the chilling wind. His fingers are numb, and he has to stop on the corner of a street to let go of his bag and textbooks for a minute of reprieve. While he rubs his hands together and feels his fingers sigh in relief, the rain doesn't cease. It falls from the thick, bruised clouds like ice, each droplet stinging sharp, and a shiver shoots down his spine each time one lands on his drenched hair. His hoodie does nothing to protect him from the chill and his old trainers are soaked through.

Jaehyun closes his eyes. They open with a startle when a car races past, headlights approaching to slice through the dingy evening, and he nearly gets hit by the splash of its tyres. He huddles into a shop opening, then leans down to lug his bag onto his back and hug the textbooks to his chest. They're already dog-eared and the ink begins to smudge. That's another thing he messed up today. He's going to get in serious trouble from the college library if they get ruined. He doesn't have enough in his bank account to cover the cost of replacements, nor the mental capacity to deal with a scolding.

Gritting his teeth, he powers on through. Like he always does. Like he feels he has to. Jaehyun squints through the rain, still gasping for breath, and his spirits are lifted a little by the sight of his apartment building. Just a few more minutes and he'd be inside.

Those few minutes drag on as his energy dwindles. But he makes it, tackling the stairs as the final challenge, then his hands promptly drop everything outside his front door. It's a struggle to not let his keys slip through his uncoordinated fingers. He inhales the familiar scent of his apartment, of his home, and is glad to shut the door behind him.

The rain is muffled now, but the drops still hit the living room window like bullets when he dumps everything on the sofa and brushes his wet bangs out of his face. The hair sticks back to his forehead and he writhes at the feeling. His jeans cling to his legs and his socks suck all the sensation out of his feet, leaving the carpet feeling like wood rather than the fresh, fluffy cream Mark picked out.

Speaking of, Jaehyun wonders if his boyfriend is around. They moved in together nearly a year ago so barely spend a moment apart, with the exceptions being when Mark goes to work and Jaehyun to his classes. Tonight is the rarest of exceptions; Jaehyun stayed at the library to study for a tough exam coming up later in the week, working himself to the bone, until his vision blurred and his hand shook, barely able to grip the pen.

It feels good to be home. Jaehyun loves how the apartment has adopted Mark's sweet smell, with the perfect hint of musk, while Mark always claims the same of Jaehyun's scent. Either way, it smooths out the headache in his skull and untenses his shoulders. Not completely - he still has that exam and the countless assignments piled up - but enough to give him motivation to cross the room and push open his bedroom door.